Abbygayle's Journey Options

[moon_beam]

My dear Lightning Strike Friends,
Today is a very hard day. It is Sunday and is very likely the last weekend I will have with my beautiful baby girl, Abbygayle. For those who may not already know, I started posting about my beautiful kitty daughter in the Pet Illness Forum. About 2 weeks ago she very quickly declined to not eating. Over the last 2 weeks I have had her into the vet twice on "emergency" visits where she was given subQ fluids and medication to help stimulate her appetite - - thinking at first that maybe the pain meds had suppressed her appetite. She has been on very mild pain meds since January but I know they can change the way food tastes and smells, and can make digestion quite unappealing. The last visit was Tuesday, March 9. Another vet in the practice saw her as Tuesdays are our regular vet's day off. The vet took a couple of x-rays which showed NO invasion of the Fibrosarcoma into her bones - - anywhere, and her vital organs looked well within normal limits. On Friday, March 5, Abbygayle's first "emergency" visit, her regular vet did a BUN test for kidney function which all results were well within all normal ranges.
My beautiful baby girl is not a happy camper. I am syringe feeding her to try to keep her from going into crisis so that we can have this last weekend together. But I am prepared to take her the ER vet today if she goes into seizure for some reason.
My precious Noah, Abbygayle's sibling brother, is trying his best to keep our little household together, but he will be the sole furchild survior in a household that has gone from 4 furkids to just him within a 39 month time frame. I love him dearly. He is bright and mischievous - - makes me laugh even in times of complete exasperation from his antics sometimes. Abbygayle is my baby cuddles girl. She has loved being held and cuddled since day one. Noah will let me hold him but just so long - - a typcal boy child who can tolerate mommy's "mushy stuff" just so long. Abbygayle on the other hand will let me hold her in my arms for as long as we both need a hug and cuddle. The pending reality of not being able to hold her in my arms again is just ripping apart my heart and spirit to the unbearable breaking point.
I have an appoitnment for her with her regular vet PCP tomorrow afternoon for an updated evaluation and to discuss euthanasia. I am hoping the vet can help me keep her comfortable through Wednesday afternoon so that I can take her in Wednesday evening for the procedure, bring her home to Noah, wrap her precious body, and return her to the vet on Thursday morning for cremation. I had scheduled to have Thursday off from work for a dental appointment, but I will cancel the dental appointment and still take Thursday off from work. If the vet cannot find anything definitive tomorrow that would help me better understand what has caused this sudden loss of appetite and snowballing failure, I may request that she do a necropsy before Abbygayle is cremated and returned to me.
Needless to say, my friends, I am in quite a sorrowful state. I can hardly see to type this through my tears, so I hope this makes some sense to you as you read through it. I ask that you please keep my precious Abbygayle and Noah in your thoughts and prayers, and I will let you know what happens as soon as I can. And please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers knowing that you are carrying your own burdens of grief and sorrow.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[moon_beam]

Dear Lightning Strike Friends, today is April 25, and it is 40 days now since my precious Abbygayle joined the angels. Noah is snuggled here next to me as I write to you. He very seldom wants to be far from me now. I have finished my memorials of my beautiful Abbygayle and am in the process of burning the DVD's of her video. For the music I selected "The Rose" and "All I Ask of You" - - the latter song from Webber's Phantom of the Opera. They are both instrumentals of the songs which I downloaded from the internet. This is the very last thing I can do for her - - just her. And now, for real, it is just Noah and me. He is such a precious little soul, and I am very blessed to have him with me. But I am still very saddened that he is now an "only child" for the first time in his almost 7 years of life. But right now I cannot bear the thought of adopting another fur child. I'm not ready for that -- not yet. And I certainly don't want Noah to think that I am trying to "replace" his fur siblings.

I just want to thank each of you so much for sharing Abbygayle's, and Oslo's, journey with me. There is still a lot of healing to do, and I know that I have your encouragement and support every step of the journey. And I hope you know you have mine with each of your journeys as well.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[ladywolf]

Hi Moon Beam--

I was just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing this week?

You are so kind and thoughtful and giving of yourself to others--I hope that you show that same kindness to yourself! You have been so thoughtful and helpful to me, and I want you to know how much I truly appreciate it.

Here's hoping that you're having an easier week than last week was...

Big, big hugs from Margi and the Wolf