Abbygayle's Journey Options

[moon_beam]

My dear Lightning Strike Friends,
Today is a very hard day. It is Sunday and is very likely the last weekend I will have with my beautiful baby girl, Abbygayle. For those who may not already know, I started posting about my beautiful kitty daughter in the Pet Illness Forum. About 2 weeks ago she very quickly declined to not eating. Over the last 2 weeks I have had her into the vet twice on "emergency" visits where she was given subQ fluids and medication to help stimulate her appetite - - thinking at first that maybe the pain meds had suppressed her appetite. She has been on very mild pain meds since January but I know they can change the way food tastes and smells, and can make digestion quite unappealing. The last visit was Tuesday, March 9. Another vet in the practice saw her as Tuesdays are our regular vet's day off. The vet took a couple of x-rays which showed NO invasion of the Fibrosarcoma into her bones - - anywhere, and her vital organs looked well within normal limits. On Friday, March 5, Abbygayle's first "emergency" visit, her regular vet did a BUN test for kidney function which all results were well within all normal ranges.
My beautiful baby girl is not a happy camper. I am syringe feeding her to try to keep her from going into crisis so that we can have this last weekend together. But I am prepared to take her the ER vet today if she goes into seizure for some reason.
My precious Noah, Abbygayle's sibling brother, is trying his best to keep our little household together, but he will be the sole furchild survior in a household that has gone from 4 furkids to just him within a 39 month time frame. I love him dearly. He is bright and mischievous - - makes me laugh even in times of complete exasperation from his antics sometimes. Abbygayle is my baby cuddles girl. She has loved being held and cuddled since day one. Noah will let me hold him but just so long - - a typcal boy child who can tolerate mommy's "mushy stuff" just so long. Abbygayle on the other hand will let me hold her in my arms for as long as we both need a hug and cuddle. The pending reality of not being able to hold her in my arms again is just ripping apart my heart and spirit to the unbearable breaking point.
I have an appoitnment for her with her regular vet PCP tomorrow afternoon for an updated evaluation and to discuss euthanasia. I am hoping the vet can help me keep her comfortable through Wednesday afternoon so that I can take her in Wednesday evening for the procedure, bring her home to Noah, wrap her precious body, and return her to the vet on Thursday morning for cremation. I had scheduled to have Thursday off from work for a dental appointment, but I will cancel the dental appointment and still take Thursday off from work. If the vet cannot find anything definitive tomorrow that would help me better understand what has caused this sudden loss of appetite and snowballing failure, I may request that she do a necropsy before Abbygayle is cremated and returned to me.
Needless to say, my friends, I am in quite a sorrowful state. I can hardly see to type this through my tears, so I hope this makes some sense to you as you read through it. I ask that you please keep my precious Abbygayle and Noah in your thoughts and prayers, and I will let you know what happens as soon as I can. And please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers knowing that you are carrying your own burdens of grief and sorrow.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[moon_beam]

My dear friends, I can't believe tomorrow, April 15, will be 30 days exactly since my beautiful baby girl joined the angels. This has been one of the longest months in my life. It seems to have gone by in a daze. The last couple of weeks I have started working on her memorial - - with Noah's help. He has been here by my side at the computer watching me work and plan and go back to the "drawing board."

I did an internet search on "scrapbooking" and came across a couple of ideas that I hadn't ever thought of before. One of them - - a memorial bookmark - - I'm doing. I found a good program on BookmarksGalore.com and have added that to my computer and have the bookmark pretty much finished in its design. Now all I need to do is print it out. I'm making enough for everyone at the vet office and other folks who I believe will appreciate it. And then I'm doing a memorial video / slide show of her brief life with a combination of narrative slides and pictures set to music. I still have some work to do on the slides but I think in the next couple of weeks I'll be able to start putting that together on my computer as well. And I'll make copies of it for everyone at the vet's office as well, like I did for Oslo.

It has been hard sometimes working on this but it has also helped me to stay focused on her life. There are still LOTS of difficult moments to get through. I think this past Sunday was the first Sunday that I hadn't spent most of the day in bed sobbing from sheer emotional exhaustion, which was good for my precious little Noah. He is such a sweet little fella, and I am so glad he is here with me.

I want you to know that I feel truly blessed to know each of you through this wonderful forum. Thank you so much for your genuine caring support and encouragement and comfort. Please know each of you are close in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam