Rufus Options

[Debboop]

Well I discovered this site by chance and after viewing the different posts thought I would register as its a comfort and relief to no I am not alone.
I had Rufus for almost 16 years, he had been everywhere with me and my husband and was also a GREAT companian for me as my husband works away alot. We were rather lucky with him as he never really got ill. As he was getting older we noticed a change and gave him Devils Claw, Glucosomine & Chrondrontin for his joints, these helped him a great deal. However since Christmas he had become very unsettled and disorientated so we took him to the vets in Jan and they told us to try Activat for brain aging in dogs but after trying them he didn`t change.
A few times I came home from work and found him on the floor not being able to get up and he had weed. I even went as far as buying dog shoes so he could grip the tiles and laminate and this never seemed to happen again.
Last week Tues 16th March I came home and took him for his walk (he always wanted to go out)when I got to the end of the road he went to have a poo and then collapsed. I was hysterical and managed to get him home, I phoned my husband who said to phone the vets, I told the vet on the phone I thought it was his time and they fitted him in. When we got there the vet said it wasn`t his legs that were bad but his spine and to try these painkillers. I wasn`t too sure as I myself had resigned to the fact that it was his time, but the vet said try them. So thats what we did, thinking there was hope for our "baby". We gave him half a tablet and within a a couple of hours saw his back lift and he perked up. The following day(Wed) I was sad as my husband had to go away for 2 weeks but I thought at least I had Rufus. I got home from work the same day and Rufus was collapsed on the floor having pood and weed and was shaking, this broke my heart. I got him up and got him outside, I bathed him and he perked up so the following morning (Thur) I went to work again but something in my mind told me things weren`t right. My boss told me to go home and be with him as I was really upset. I got home and he was asleep were I had left him and then when I woke him he went outside for a wee but didn`t seem himself so I phoned the vets who said take him in. On arrival at the vets he collapsed in the waiting room and pood, when we were called through he collapsed again and that is when the vet said he thought it was time. OMG I have never been so upset in my life, I felt so alone (as hubby was away)I lay on the floor with Rufus stroking him, kissing him telling him how much me and his dad loved him, telling him he was off to a better place and he wouldn`t be in pain anymore. He never even put up a fight he just lay there then let out a sigh as if of relief and then he was gone. The vet left me with him for about 10mins and I fixed his ears and eyes then told the vet he was clean as I had bathed him. As I got to the door I turned back and saw him lying on the floor so went back to him for one more stroke. I really don`t know how I have got through the last week. I think of him constantly.
Today I have picked up his ashes and brought him home to be back were he belongs, I feel a sense of relief him being back here with me. But I still question as to why the vet didn`t end his suffering on the Tuesday and then I get to thinking if only I had had him for one more day. All kinds of things are going through my mind. I never thought I would feel so bad.
I`m sorry for rambling on but just feel I need to write it all down
RIP Rufus we`ll never ever forget you love mum and dad ************

[Debboop]

Well OMG its been over 3 weeks since Rufus passed and I have cried everyday. I feel like I will never ever get over this, people say I did the right thing and deep down I know I did but I really didn`t think I would feel this bad. Hubby came home and we had our trip to The Lakes which was beautiful but we saw so many dogs it just made me think of Rufus more. We are going to get another dog in a few weeks time and I know he will never replace Rufus but I am hoping it will go along way to helping us to be happy again.