Ladywolf Is Failing, How do you make THE decision? Options

[ladywolf]

No, this is not a new topic, but it's a new phase of the process, and I thought I would start a new thread about Ladywolf and me. (See "How to Savor the Time with a Dying Pet.)

All of her legs are giving out on her now, and I may have just taken her for her last woodsy ramble. She simply can't keep up even on a very short walk anymore--she lies down to rest, and today I had to leave my friend with her and walk back to get the car, which I then had to navigate over a very rough stretch of mountain dirt road--but not very far, because we simply hadn't gotten very far before Lady called it quits.

Just now, she fell going up a friend's three or four stairs. I can't lift her--she weighs almost as much as I do--though I can help her to stabilize when trying to get in and out of the car, for example, or climbing that short staircase. She's a real trooper, but it's obvious that she's in a lot of pain from the cancer now. However, when she's lying around, she's still very perky and fresh and alert, and her appetite for home cookin' continues to be great. Lying down or sitting up, she seems like the same old Wolf. It's just when she tries to get to her feet...

I'm not really writing just yet to pose the question in my title, because I can't handle talking about it today. I could just use some more support, because obviously we can't continue like this indefinitely--something will have to be done, at some point...

I feel oddly unemotional about it all today, but god knows I have been having lots of those moments over the course of these past few months, since the cancer was diagnosed. She's fourteen or fifteen, and the most magnificent creature you've ever seen--about 80 or 90% pure Alaskan Grey Timberwolf. She is the most intelligent, sensitive, loving, funny, intuitive creature I have ever had the incredible grace to have in my life. I'm trying to remember that.

I don't have the money right now to choose to have her euthanized, I really don't. But a wealthy friend who's paid some of her other bills might pay for it for me, since it would be the last time I asked her for help.

I gotta' stop writing about it right now. I could just use some more support.

Thanks, everyone.

Big Hugs--Margi and Ladywolf

[Ken Albin]

Margi,

I am glad that Ladywolf's pain is being controlled and that she is still with you for awhile longer. I also had my own "guardian angels" on this group. I am retired and on a very limited fixed income now. They helped me in paying for the huge costs for surgery and treatment if our sweet cat Iona. Though she died from an infection she acquired when the surgeon put in the pin for her broken leg it still meant that instead of her dying a slow death as a feral cat I was given the time to tame her and show her what real love was. She learned how much fun it was to play with toys and how comforting it was to be petted and held as well as to having the luxury of being served good meals and having a warm, safe, dry place to sleep. To Iona having those 2 months was worth every cent that I and my angels spent on her. Every single day I think of the kindness shown by those wonderful people on this site who helped Iona. I am glad that you have similar help. The folk here are truly a blessing. Their kind hearts are an inspiration to us all and a lesson in what true compassion means. Whenever I am thrown into despair when reading about some cruel thing that a person has done to an animal all I have to do to restore my faith is to think of these special angels and how much they care. When I do that it brings a huge smile to my face. I imagine you probably feel the same gratitude and love for them as I do.

Please pet Ladywolf for me and know that you all are still and will always be in my prayers.

Take care,
Ken Albin

[ladywolf]

Margi,

I am glad that Ladywolf's pain is being controlled and that she is still with you for awhile longer. I also had my own "guardian angels" on this group. I am retired and on a very limited fixed income now. They helped me in paying for the huge costs for surgery and treatment if our sweet cat Iona. Though she died from an infection she acquired when the surgeon put in the pin for her broken leg it still meant that instead of her dying a slow death as a feral cat I was given the time to tame her and show her what real love was. She learned how much fun it was to play with toys and how comforting it was to be petted and held as well as to having the luxury of being served good meals and having a warm, safe, dry place to sleep. To Iona having those 2 months was worth every cent that I and my angels spent on her. Every single day I think of the kindness shown by those wonderful people on this site who helped Iona. I am glad that you have similar help. The folk here are truly a blessing. Their kind hearts are an inspiration to us all and a lesson in what true compassion means. Whenever I am thrown into despair when reading about some cruel thing that a person has done to an animal all I have to do to restore my faith is to think of these special angels and how much they care. When I do that it brings a huge smile to my face. I imagine you probably feel the same gratitude and love for them as I do.

Please pet Ladywolf for me and know that you all are still and will always be in my prayers.

Take care,
Ken Albin

Oh, thank you everyone for your kind words. They make so much difference.

Ladywolf seems to be doing much better since I doubled her pain med--which is only a combination of aspirin and naprosyn at this point-- called Meloxicam. She's not limping on her front legs any more for now, and it's a miracle. She's also even perkier and fresher. I suppose that a trip to the vet will be called for soon, to find out if she should be on something even stronger, according to how much pain the vet thinks she is or isn't in. I don't think the vet thought in her wildest dreams that Lady would still be alive, but she didn't know about our combined determination and powerful life force. After all, I survived being unconscious for eight days with no food and water--why wouldn't my wolf have the same determination to stick around?

Yes, Ken, I am blown away by the kindness and generosity of the people on this Forum. Although I don't know why--I was co-moderator of the Zoloft User's Group on Yahoo for awhile, and we were very close and always doing useful things for each other. But this is different--the people here are truly dedicated to the well-being of animals, and I care more about animals than I do about humans, almost. So it's my kind of place! Thank you again, angel lady donor! And I'm so glad, Ken, that your kitty got to experience a different side of life from what he was used to.

If it comes down to something powerful like Fentanyl patches, I know that I won't be able to afford them either. But we're not at that point yet. And I'm not sure that I want to keep Ladywolf alive and zonk her out to that degree. I've used F patches myself, and they were too powerful even for me, and I have a high resistance to painkillers.

For now, we're doing okey-dokey, I think. Lady is her usual pushy, demanding, stubborn self--and that's worth any cost!

Love to all--

Margi and the Wolf

P.S. Again, I ask if anyone can help me post a few more pictures? I'm photo-challenged here, but I could mail jpegs...