Guilt Options

[Rhapsedy]

Has anyone felt guilt months after their pet died? I felt incredible guilt right after Callaway died and the intense guilt has returned, it's been almost 7 months since he died. The pain is so hard and I sometimes feel like I'm going to loss my mind.

[tanbuck]

Absolutely I have. Months after Frasier died I told my husband I still have days where I don't feel like I've made any progress at all. It seems like out of nowhere I start going over Frasier's last days, our decisions, just everything. But lately it helps in a weird way to keep telling myself that no matter whether I let my mind go there or not, nothing is going to bring him back. Then I'm usually able to block my mind from going there. Maybe it's just avoidance but hurting myself with the guilt is only making me feel worse. It's not helping Frasier.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you'll find peace. And remember you did everything based on what you knew at the time. Your decisions were out love and not to hurt Callaway. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
-Donna

[Rhapsedy]

Absolutely I have. Months after Frasier died I told my husband I still have days where I don't feel like I've made any progress at all. It seems like out of nowhere I start going over Frasier's last days, our decisions, just everything. But lately it helps in a weird way to keep telling myself that no matter whether I let my mind go there or not, nothing is going to bring him back. Then I'm usually able to block my mind from going there. Maybe it's just avoidance but hurting myself with the guilt is only making me feel worse. It's not helping Frasier.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you'll find peace. And remember you did everything based on what you knew at the time. Your decisions were out love and not to hurt Callaway. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
-Donna

Hi Donna,

Thanks for the response. You are so right... the guilt just makes us feel worse and there is nothing we can do to bring them back. I have just got to practice not letting myself go into the guilt phase, I need to remember all the good times and the things that I did right for Callaway. I have never felt the intense pain that I feel over losing Callaway, it's just totally new to me and I guess I don't know how to deal with it. I am going to try what you do and tell myself that feeling guilty is not going to help, maybe that will help me to stop obsessing about what I think I did wrong.

Rhapsedy