How Do I Help My Other Dog Get Over A Loss?, Helping a grieving pet Options

[CharliesMom]

Hi, everyone. I'm new to the forum and my own loss is very recent. My sweet Charlie, a West Highland White Terrier who would have been 9 next Saturday, was discovered just a little over a month ago to be suffering from kidney disease, apparently due to some sort of genetic abnormality. On Friday afternon, I had just returned from yet another visit to the vet and was sitting beside Charlie on the sofa, stroking his fur, when he suddenly went into a seizure that lasted only a minute (it felt much longer) then he let out a little breath and was gone. He had lost so much weight and had grown so weak that I guess his poor little body just couldn’t take any more. Fortunately, my parents had just dropped by to offer support so I wasn’t alone when it happened. I really think I might have lost my mind if I had been.

I have three problems, really. The first, of course, is that I am heartbroken. Charlie was the best dog I ever knew, feisty and funny, sweet-natured and so very sensitive. He understood me better than anyone ever did, human or otherwise. In the past I’ve been forced to make the wrenching decision to have pets put down, but Charlie, unselfish to the end, spared me that. I do take some comfort in the thought that that, in death as in life, he did it his way. But I am bitter and angry that we had so little time together. Westies usually live to be about 15. Charlie was only 8 and therein lies my second problem. It seems so unfair, especially when I’ve always taken such good care of my dogs. I brushed Charlie’s teeth every night from puppyhood, fed him the best quality food, made sure he got plenty of exercise, took him to the vet every single time he seemed out of sorts, protected him from every possible toxic substance, and still this thing happened. We should have had years more together and I don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life without him.

The third and most pressing problem is my other dog, an 8-year-old Sheltie named Belle who has never known a single day of her life without Charlie. I’m terribly concerned about her because she's been avoiding me ever since Charlie died. She was there when it happened and while I have no idea how much she understood, every time I call to her now she runs in the opposite direction. I don't think she blames me for what happened but surely senses my sadness and I think that's what she's avoiding. Of course she's also very sad herself. Charlie was always her champion, fighting her battles like the gallant little soul that he was, once even taking on a Rottweiller in her defense (and, believe it or not, got the better of the Rottie!). Now he's gone and she seems so lost without him that I don't know what to do with her. This morning I took her with me to the animal hospital to return some of Charlie's unused pills and we saw a Westie there. Belle's face just lit up and she ran toward the Westie with such joy and excitement, it just about broke my heart. It really hurts too, that she's avoiding me, because she was always my faithful little shadow. If anyone has ideas about what I might do for this poor grieving dog, I would appreciate hearing them. I absolutely could not bear to lose her too.

Sorry for the length of this post. I just have so many feelings rolling around inside that I have to get them out. Thanks for indulging me!

Regards,

Charlie & Belle's Mom

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi Barbara
You are a really wonderful person to be helping out these Westie rescues. I think Charlie is working through you! Maybe Belle will like the next one you foster so much that you'll get to keep him or her permanently. I'm trying to keep my head above water here and not dwell on my sadness with Sammy so much. We don't have a local Westie rescue chapter that I know of -- I'll have to check it out to make sure -- but that would be a good thing to do. I've been helping out our local humane society as much as possible -- I know that Sammy would want me to do that. One of the Westie breeders that I've been in contact with let me know that she had 3 females born about 4 days ago. It's tempting to tell her that we want one -- but I have so many things to work through yet about a new puppy. Like - what do I feed it -- which vaccines do they really need ( wow - from the books I've been reading - it's those annual vaccines that cause so many of the illnesses and cancers in our animals). I have to come to some decisions on this so I can relax and enjoy a new puppy when we finally do get one.

Take care.
Sharon