Rafer, Hole in my heart Options

[Idajean]

Rafer was born on St. Patty Day 2003 and died on March 23 2010. He was a majestic handsom Doberman. His name is Celtic meaning Rich and prosperous. I loved this dog more than any other, whether this was right or wrong it was what it was. I can't believe I will never feel his head on my lap again or look into his trusting eyes. He was taken much to early. Two weeks ago he had his yearly checkup and was pronounced healthy. After he was given all his shots we returned home and within hours he started to have problems breathing. When i took him to the vets x-rays and an EKG showed he had cardiomyopathy. What a shock. I was told with medications he may live for 6 months to a year. He only made it two weeks. We were back at the vets every 3rd day or so as he would fill up with fluid and unable to breath again. He stopped eating and with all the medications he was taking it became so futile. Last night after a day of not breathing well, increased lasix and no eating I went back to vets. His gums were white, is heart was in such a severe arrhytmia that he suggested putting him to sleep. I was just so devasted. I lay on the floor at the vets with him as they gave him the injection. I just kept telling him how much I loved him and what a wonderful boy he was, until he quietly crossed over the bridge. I am 67 and know that the pain I feel will be with me until my end. I will hold him in my heat forever.

[Hslesgirl]

Idajean,

Just reading your posts breaks my heart. It was weeks before I could even think about gathering up Austin's things. Actually - and I guess this may sound childish to some people - for weeks I slept snuggling with the stuffed bunny I had given Austin for Easter. It felt like my last link to him. He slept in bed between my husband and myself every night so when he was gone, this king-sized bed felt so empty without him. So the bunny helped. Once I was able to stand it I got a beautiful, large, hatbox and put all of Austins things in it - his collar, his favorite toys, his tote bag from daycare, etc. Everything went in except his nametag from his collar which now hangs on my keychain. The box is tied with ribbon and stored safely on a shelf in my closet. I couldn't bear to throw his things away as if he had never been here. We all handle this differently and in whatever way gets us through. As you can see, there are many people in this world that loved their fur babies as much as we did. It does help to know we support each other. I agree with you, there is nothing as special as being loved by a Doberman. When a dog NEEDS to be with his people as much and as closely as a Dobe does, it truly leaves a void when they're gone. And even though a piece of me went with Austin, I wouldn't trade the time I had with him for anything. He was a gift I didn't get to keep for as long as I would have liked. Maybe because Dobes are so special God only lends them to us for a short while and then he wants them back. I feel blessed to have been owned by one and priviledged to know their true personalities are nothing like the "Devil Dogs" so many people believe them to be!

I know these first weeks are going to be the hardest and I wish I could ease that for you. Give yourself the time you need to grieve and don't let anyone ever rush you or tell you you're over-reacting. And please stay in touch here and let us help you by being a virtual shoulder for you to cry on.

Hugs,
Carol