Abbygayle's Journey Options

[moon_beam]

My dear Lightning Strike Friends,
Today is a very hard day. It is Sunday and is very likely the last weekend I will have with my beautiful baby girl, Abbygayle. For those who may not already know, I started posting about my beautiful kitty daughter in the Pet Illness Forum. About 2 weeks ago she very quickly declined to not eating. Over the last 2 weeks I have had her into the vet twice on "emergency" visits where she was given subQ fluids and medication to help stimulate her appetite - - thinking at first that maybe the pain meds had suppressed her appetite. She has been on very mild pain meds since January but I know they can change the way food tastes and smells, and can make digestion quite unappealing. The last visit was Tuesday, March 9. Another vet in the practice saw her as Tuesdays are our regular vet's day off. The vet took a couple of x-rays which showed NO invasion of the Fibrosarcoma into her bones - - anywhere, and her vital organs looked well within normal limits. On Friday, March 5, Abbygayle's first "emergency" visit, her regular vet did a BUN test for kidney function which all results were well within all normal ranges.
My beautiful baby girl is not a happy camper. I am syringe feeding her to try to keep her from going into crisis so that we can have this last weekend together. But I am prepared to take her the ER vet today if she goes into seizure for some reason.
My precious Noah, Abbygayle's sibling brother, is trying his best to keep our little household together, but he will be the sole furchild survior in a household that has gone from 4 furkids to just him within a 39 month time frame. I love him dearly. He is bright and mischievous - - makes me laugh even in times of complete exasperation from his antics sometimes. Abbygayle is my baby cuddles girl. She has loved being held and cuddled since day one. Noah will let me hold him but just so long - - a typcal boy child who can tolerate mommy's "mushy stuff" just so long. Abbygayle on the other hand will let me hold her in my arms for as long as we both need a hug and cuddle. The pending reality of not being able to hold her in my arms again is just ripping apart my heart and spirit to the unbearable breaking point.
I have an appoitnment for her with her regular vet PCP tomorrow afternoon for an updated evaluation and to discuss euthanasia. I am hoping the vet can help me keep her comfortable through Wednesday afternoon so that I can take her in Wednesday evening for the procedure, bring her home to Noah, wrap her precious body, and return her to the vet on Thursday morning for cremation. I had scheduled to have Thursday off from work for a dental appointment, but I will cancel the dental appointment and still take Thursday off from work. If the vet cannot find anything definitive tomorrow that would help me better understand what has caused this sudden loss of appetite and snowballing failure, I may request that she do a necropsy before Abbygayle is cremated and returned to me.
Needless to say, my friends, I am in quite a sorrowful state. I can hardly see to type this through my tears, so I hope this makes some sense to you as you read through it. I ask that you please keep my precious Abbygayle and Noah in your thoughts and prayers, and I will let you know what happens as soon as I can. And please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers knowing that you are carrying your own burdens of grief and sorrow.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[moon_beam]

Dear Jan, Flossie's Mom, Barbara, Irene, BullyMama, Donna, Sharon, Ginger, and all dear Lightning Strike Friends,
Thank you so much for your loving, comforting thoughts and prayers. I cannot believe it has already been 27 hours now since my precious baby girl joined the angels. Having her here last night for Noah - - and me - - was very comforting. I took her back to the vet after I got home from work today and will have her ashes back the week of March 29. I got her pawprint today. She always used to enjoy being brushed. She had long, thick, plush beautiful grey fur, and I used a soft tine brush on her to get down through the layers. But the last month she wasn't able to tolerate it, and her fur did begin to look bedraggled. So, last night I was able to give her a good brushing and have saved her fur in a little plastic baggie. There is plenty more of it throughout the house where she was shedding, and I plan on saving that as well. Noah is actively seeking rubs and hugs from me - - which is just what we both need. He has been such a super kitty brother and I am so very proud of him - - which I tell him frequently.
Both Noah and Abbygayle were rescued by a couple of co-workers in May 2003. Neither of them could adopt the little furbabies, so they asked me if I would. Noah was fine, but Abbygayle was actively dying from horrible flea, tick, and maggot infestation. Noah was rescued first because they could get ahold of him, and a few days later they were able to get ahold of his sister because she was then too weak to run from them. Noah was always her caregiver - - he groomed her and made sure that she had the "lion's share" of food. Noah joined this little household first, and after intensive medical care totally incurred by my co-workers, Abbygayle came a couple of weeks later. Her immune system was already severely compromised, and that I believe is one of the reasons why the cancer took such ahold of her with a vengence. We had 6 years and 10 months together, 9 of those last months due to the valiant efforts of her PCP to help me give her a good quality of life. Noah settled into his new home nicely and bonded instantly with his big adopted kitty brother, Eli, and soon realized that his big doggy brother Oslo was just a big loveable "kittycat". But the evening when my co-workers brought his sister here, and Noah saw her - - his eyes and entire body lit up like a Christmas tree. He was SO O O O happy to see his baby sister again, and after my co-workers left, he gave his baby sister a tour of her new home - - both upstairs and here in the basement living quarters - - which is our primary living space. And they were basically inseparable for the rest of their lives together - - until now.
These last several months I have had to gate off the basement steps to the upstairs so that Abbygayle did not stress her hip and leg going up and down the steps - - which greatly restricted Noah's space as well. They both enjoyed going upstairs to explore and have some "separate space" to take a nap - - usually in the upstairs master bedroom. And when friends and family would come by to visit Noah would come upstairs to visit for a little bit and then would come back downstairs to be with his baby sister - - who hid from everyone who came to visit. She would only reappear for me after everyone had left.
She was and will always be a very special joy of my life, and I am so honored to have been her human guardian during her very brief journey on this side of eternity. It does console me to know that she is now healed in the Presence of our Heavenly Father Creator - - no more cancer, no more pain - - and is frolicking in the warm sunshine of heaven's perfect garden with Eli and Oslo, and each of your precious fur babies. But I must confess it's going to take awhile for me to work through this painful grief - - not just for me but for Noah as well for his loss is deep as well. After I got home from the vet I removed the gate from the basement steps so that Noah can now go back upstairs to visit the places that he shared with both Eli and his sister. He has been upstairs a couple of times, but he is cuddled next to me as I'm writing to you, which is comforting for me to feel his sweet little body snuggled next to me.
Thank you, each of you, for sharing my baby girl with me, and for being here for me. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam