Hello, New here Options

[BullyMama]

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello to everyone here.

I had no plans to join but....after reading Sheppie's "I Did Not See This Coming, Sudden Death", I decided to join.

I wound up here by way of links from another pet bereavement site. Sheppie's post was the very first that I read from the forum...I was drawn to it because of the title. Yet completely taken aback once I read about her loss....her story is also mine.

On New Year's Day 2010 I lost my girl, Maggie (hemangiosarcoma).

While I am not new to loosing a pet and all the sadness that surrounds such a great loss, loosing Maggie was slightly different. Rather than start a new topic I will develop on loosing Maggie within Sheppie's topic as referenced above (it fits best there).

To continue my introduction,

To date I have lost (euthanized) 8 dogs (due to old age or terminal illness), and most recently Maggie. I have also euthanized my bird (illness), and buried two Hamsters.

I am invloved in dog rescue as a volunteer and have found such happiness in all that I do to help homeless dogs.

While loosing any pet is never easy, loosing Maggie has been the hardest for me. In trying to heal and move forward I realized this time was not like the times before and I really needed to find a place where my feelings would be welcome and understood....I do think this is the place.

To all of you who have lost a pet...I am so sorry for your loss. Please know I feel for you. I know & understand the pain, sadness, guilt, emptiness and tears well. I walk the path alongside you.

I hope that my time here will help me heal and move forward, but I also hope to be a member who brings something to the table....support, understanding, empathy, strength in numbers.

With love, hugs and a great sadness,

BullyMama (aka; Maggie's Mom)

[Stormycloud]

Hi Bullymama,

How are you doing? I hope you are feeling okay. I was sad to read in your last post about sombody saying that you were just feeling sorry for yourself with regard to putting your Maggie down when she was ill. I also think it's in very poor taste for anyone to say anything about how you handled your dog's passing, we do what we can under the circumstances, and if we could see into the future, we would maybe make other decisions than the ones we made. I am trying not to beat myself up either, as it will get me nowhere. My doggy is gone and there is not one thing I can do about it - except grieve him and remember the really good times (14 years worth!!!) of which there were many. Just remember you cannot change what happened, your Maggie was ill and you did what you thought was right, case closed!

Just wanted to say hello as I had my first 'So are you going to get another dog?' comment yesterday, can you imagine??? It was my friend's husband who said this and when I told my friend she was not in the least bit surprised he said it! They have a new puppy who is about 12 weeks or so and already he is spazzing (for lack of a better word!!) out at it, poor little puppy. I have told her if he gets too crazy with the puppy we will gladly take him (I told her this before Stormy's passing), and I still would.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello to you to see how you were doing today. Hope you have had a good Saturday and that you're not too sad today.

Moira

[BullyMama]

Hi Bullymama,

How are you doing? I hope you are feeling okay. I was sad to read in your last post about sombody saying that you were just feeling sorry for yourself with regard to putting your Maggie down when she was ill. I also think it's in very poor taste for anyone to say anything about how you handled your dog's passing, we do what we can under the circumstances, and if we could see into the future, we would maybe make other decisions than the ones we made. I am trying not to beat myself up either, as it will get me nowhere. My doggy is gone and there is not one thing I can do about it - except grieve him and remember the really good times (14 years worth!!!) of which there were many. Just remember you cannot change what happened, your Maggie was ill and you did what you thought was right, case closed!

Just wanted to say hello as I had my first 'So are you going to get another dog?' comment yesterday, can you imagine??? It was my friend's husband who said this and when I told my friend she was not in the least bit surprised he said it! They have a new puppy who is about 12 weeks or so and already he is spazzing (for lack of a better word!!) out at it, poor little puppy. I have told her if he gets too crazy with the puppy we will gladly take him (I told her this before Stormy's passing), and I still would.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello to you to see how you were doing today. Hope you have had a good Saturday and that you're not too sad today.

Moira

Stormycloud,

Sorry I did not respond sooner, I needed some time to think and try to work through some unresolved feelings about Maggie's death. Still quite upset. Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate you taking the time to say hello. Hello to you

I sometimes think some people just dont know what to say to those of us who have lost pets, especially if they have not experienced the loss of a pet, but because they feel the need to say something, anything, most comments come without much thought, or insight as to how someone who is trying to grieve may be affected by their comments.

Yes, I can imagine the...'So are you going to get another dog?'...that too seems to be a standard comment. While we are trying to grieve, others just seem to think getting another pet will solve everything and make things easier. Maybe there is some truth to it, but I am not a believer. Having other pets in the home when you loose one does help you go on with your day to day, but adding a brand new pet while grieving is not something to be looked at as a way to fast track getting over the loss of your pet.

Hope you are doing well.

*hugs*

BullyMama