Niles' Story, Losing my 2nd baby Options

[tanbuck]

Hello to all. I haven't been on the forum in awhile and I feel bad that I haven't been able to offer support to y'all. Some of you may know me from "Frasier's Story". If you've read it, then you know we lost Frasier last August. My immeasurable grief has been the same as all of yours. Unfortunately we share that in common.
I'm not ready to tell everything yet but we are now losing Frasier's littermate, Niles. He is dying of kidney failure. That's the first time I've said it that way and the tears are welling up in my eyes to the point I can't see. We just found out last week and I'm dealing with getting ready. So many of you know what I mean. To make matters worse, we had our dog Buck rechecked for his kidney values last week as he has been in compensated kidney failure for a year now and his numbers had taken a dramatic jump. He is doing very well though so we are just thankful for each day we have him.
I'll talk more later and again, I'm sorry to all of you who have come here to the forum since the last time I was on and I didn't offer support. I was pushing myself away from this website in denial that Niles might be leaving me.
My broken heart goes out to all of you as I know yours is broken too.
-Donna

[tanbuck]

To anyone who might read this:
I need help. My cat, Niles, is not doing well. He is very anemic and getting weaker. I know that I am watching him begin to die and my heart is breaking inside my chest. I'm not having a good day at all. It's so hard because you have to keep functioning in the world while you're dying on the inside.
Each day since Frasier died I have at least shed one tear for him. Now that we are at this dreaded place with Niles and it is so soon after Frasier died, I feel like I've never moved from this place. It's like death has been happening for months. I'm much more exhausted this time. I guess because I still have grief for Frasier hanging over me and weighing me down. My only comfort is that soon "the brothers" will be together again.
I'm scared, tired, and depressed.
-Donna