Niles' Story, Losing my 2nd baby Options

[tanbuck]

Hello to all. I haven't been on the forum in awhile and I feel bad that I haven't been able to offer support to y'all. Some of you may know me from "Frasier's Story". If you've read it, then you know we lost Frasier last August. My immeasurable grief has been the same as all of yours. Unfortunately we share that in common.
I'm not ready to tell everything yet but we are now losing Frasier's littermate, Niles. He is dying of kidney failure. That's the first time I've said it that way and the tears are welling up in my eyes to the point I can't see. We just found out last week and I'm dealing with getting ready. So many of you know what I mean. To make matters worse, we had our dog Buck rechecked for his kidney values last week as he has been in compensated kidney failure for a year now and his numbers had taken a dramatic jump. He is doing very well though so we are just thankful for each day we have him.
I'll talk more later and again, I'm sorry to all of you who have come here to the forum since the last time I was on and I didn't offer support. I was pushing myself away from this website in denial that Niles might be leaving me.
My broken heart goes out to all of you as I know yours is broken too.
-Donna

[moon_beam]

Hi, Donna, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Frasier, and now with the reality of your anticipatory grief with your precious Niles and Buck. Like Ladywolf and so many others in this wonderful forum, I, too, understand what you are going through. If you read the thread "Oslo" then you know I lost my beloved 15 year old Black Lab last Thanksgiving weekend, 2009, due to a stroke. And if you've read my thread in Pet Sickness on "Abbygayle's Cancer", then you know my beautiful 6 year old kitty daughter has Stage III Fibrosarcoma, which after three surgeries in a 6 month time frame the tumors are coming back faster and more aggressive. No more surgeries.

It is never easy losing a beloved companion regardless of the circumstances of how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. The grief that we go through with each loss is uniquely painful because of the unique relationship we have shared. There is no "getting used to" losing a beloved companion regardless if it's our first experience or our thousandth - -. Anticipatory Grief is difficult because we "know" that our beloved companion's time is limited but we cling to them even harder while they are still physically with us. But "knowing" that our time is limited with them does not diminish the total devastation that we feel when their physical journey on this side of eternity with us is ended.

It is comforting to know that we can come together here in this forum to share our hearts -- broken and healing - - so that we can find comfort and courage while we travel through our grief healing journeys. So, Donna, please know that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, and please let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam