Friend's Story Options

[hopelessheart]

I’m so glad I found this site. I recently lost my cat Friend and, I’ve been having a tough time dealing with it. I’ve been feeling depressed and hopefully sharing my story will ease the pain.
My husband found Friend in a Home Depot parking lot during the winter a some years back. Somebody dumped Friend and a couple of his brothers and sisters who were all sadly run over. While walking to his car Friend popped out from underneath a nearby car. It was very cold and I believe he was just trying to keep warm. Friend was skittish at first, but after some convincing he ran into my husband’s arms. He brought Friend home and he very quickly became a member of our family.
We quickly noticed that Friend would rather hang outside than inside with our other cat. So we let him stay outside and our 32 acre ranch gave him plenty of room to hunt and play. Every morning he would come to eat, and on the occasional cold nights or hot days he’d come stay with us inside. He was such a joy to be around, always a laid back cat.
A couple of days ago I called Friend to eat in the morning and he didn’t show. I thought he had maybe run far off and decided to give him awhile to get home. After a couple of hours I realized he wasn’t coming home. In our area we do often have coyotes running around and I was afraid Friend had come across one. Three days went by and I still continued to call him never giving up hope. Finally while I was walking around searching for him I found him. He was crouched in a corner of our goat pen. I called him and called him but he wouldn’t get up. I knew then something was seriously wrong. It wasn’t until I got close to him that I realized the severity of Friend’s issues. It looked as if Friend had been hit by a car. My husband and I decided that Friend was too far gone and he might die on the trip to the vet. So we decided to take him home and take care of him until it was time to let go.
I stayed with Friend the whole night and just talked and petted him trying to make him comfortable. I often tell my animals a sort of bedtime story of how they came into our lives. So I told Friend the story and told him that I understood he was in pain and that it was his time to go. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as I told him the story. He was looking at me as if he was remembering and understood every word I said. I didn’t want him to die alone so I stayed with him. I got up to go check on my husband who wasn’t feeling too good, and it was at that moment that I left Friend alone that he passed.
My husband and I buried him under a tree on our property. It was so hard to let him go and I feel horrible that he died alone. I miss him and each day without him gets harder and harder. It’s been hard for me to go out in the morning as I was use to seeing him run towards me. Like I said before I hope me sharing this story helps with the pain. Thanks to anybody who reads Friend’s story.

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[hopelessheart]

Things are changing. Because of circumstances beyond our control we're moving. Since Friend passed I've been wanting to get out of this place, this house that reminds me of him. It's been so hard for me to be here and not have him with me. And now we're moving and I don't want to go. I've been feeling extrememly sad about leaving Friend here. I won't be able to visit him at his final resting spot anymore. And I also feel as if i'll have nothing to remind me of him anymore. My emotions are all over the place right now. One minute I feel happy to leave this place that ultimately ended my angel's life, and the next minute I can't leave because this is where he lived his life. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. I know we have to move, but I just don't want to. As if it wasn't bad enough that Friend is no longer with me now I can't even visit his grave. What do I do? How do I find the strength to move on?

[ladywolf]

Things are changing. Because of circumstances beyond our control we're moving. Since Friend passed I've been wanting to get out of this place, this house that reminds me of him. It's been so hard for me to be here and not have him with me. And now we're moving and I don't want to go. I've been feeling extrememly sad about leaving Friend here. I won't be able to visit him at his final resting spot anymore. And I also feel as if i'll have nothing to remind me of him anymore. My emotions are all over the place right now. One minute I feel happy to leave this place that ultimately ended my angel's life, and the next minute I can't leave because this is where he lived his life. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost. I know we have to move, but I just don't want to. As if it wasn't bad enough that Friend is no longer with me now I can't even visit his grave. What do I do? How do I find the strength to move on?

Dear Hopelessheart--

I wish Angel Care One was around this forum right now to help you with one of her amazing, blessed postings. I am NOT the angel that she is, but I sure can hear your pain and sympathize with you. You want to go, you don't want to go--it's awful to feel so conflicted.

Did you by any chance put up any kind of cross or stone or other memorial over Friend's grave? Because if you did, you could take that with you as a remembrance--he wouldn't mind at all. Another thing you can do is create an alter for him in your new house, with pictures of him (that kitten picture is precious, by the way), a candle, a crystal, whatever makes you feel good. Then you can sit by the alter and remember him all you want to. You can also take a picture of his gravesite and add it to the alter--I had to do that once when I left a house, and it really really helped me to have that. Poco-Loco was HER name, "The bravest one-eyed dog west of the Mississippi" was on her name tag!

I know that it feels very final to leave a place where a beloved four-legged lived with you, but I'm sure that you're making the move for a lot of good reasons, too. Really, where we hold them the closest is in our hearts and memories, and no move can ever take those away from you. You'll be making a fresh start, and that's always a good thing, even if it hurts too.

My heart is with you in this difficult time of change.......

Big hugs from Margi and Ladywolf