I Am Heart-broken, Feeling So Sad Options

[banditsmom]

I had to put my beautiful girl Bandit to sleep on saturday. She was 17 years old. I adopted her when she was 3, and for 14 years, she was with me 24/7. I work from home, so we were always together. I honestly don't remember not having her anymore it has been so long. She was such a huge part of my life. Whenever I was sad, I just had to look at that face and I would smile. I can't believe I'll never see her again, never get to hold her. I'm so sad - she really was my best friend.

[Tatem'sMama]

We time our day by them and they to us. They get us up for breakfast, join us for coffee, are waiting at the door when we return home from work, errands or just taking out the trash. They are a key thread in the tapestry of our lives and when it ends there is a hole in the weaving. And our hearts. Sometimes I see my cat Tatem in the flash of sunlight, the depth of a shadow. I think I feel her jump onto the bed and when I reach out for her and she's not there its like I just lost her all over again. Keep coming. Keep reading. People here understand how hard it is to pick up and get on with life. And no matter who tells you to do it it is up to you how and when you do.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

alison

[banditsmom]

We time our day by them and they to us. They get us up for breakfast, join us for coffee, are waiting at the door when we return home from work, errands or just taking out the trash. They are a key thread in the tapestry of our lives and when it ends there is a hole in the weaving. And our hearts. Sometimes I see my cat Tatem in the flash of sunlight, the depth of a shadow. I think I feel her jump onto the bed and when I reach out for her and she's not there its like I just lost her all over again. Keep coming. Keep reading. People here understand how hard it is to pick up and get on with life. And no matter who tells you to do it it is up to you how and when you do.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

alison

Thank you Alison - just knowing everyone here understands means so much. I can only read so much here at a time, I get so sad for everyone's loss, probably because mine is still so new. I just don't know what to say to anyone else yet since I am so raw. Unconditional love, it is so beautiful to have, and so painful to lose.

[Rhapsedy]

Thank you Alison - just knowing everyone here understands means so much. I can only read so much here at a time, I get so sad for everyone's loss, probably because mine is still so new. I just don't know what to say to anyone else yet since I am so raw. Unconditional love, it is so beautiful to have, and so painful to lose.

Bandits Mom,

It took me months before I could respond to anyone. It's been five months and I finally feel ready to help other people. Right now, you just need to deal with your feelings and we are all here to help. One day you will be able to help others when their pain is so new. Please come on here as often as you can because as I'm sure you have figured out there are some amazing people on this forum and they are so supportive.

You are so right about unconditional love, it is AMAZING! We are so lucky that we have experienced unconditional love, there are a lot of people that never do.

I will be praying that you find peace soon.

Rhapsedy

[banditsmom]

Bandits Mom,

It took me months before I could respond to anyone. It's been five months and I finally feel ready to help other people. Right now, you just need to deal with your feelings and we are all here to help. One day you will be able to help others when their pain is so new. Please come on here as often as you can because as I'm sure you have figured out there are some amazing people on this forum and they are so supportive.

You are so right about unconditional love, it is AMAZING! We are so lucky that we have experienced unconditional love, there are a lot of people that never do.

I will be praying that you find peace soon.

Rhapsedy

Thanks Rhapsedy.

Tomorrow I pick up her ashes. I am dreading it (I know I am going to be hysterical), although I know I will find some comfort in having her home. I still keep having those moments where I get up to check on her - then in a flash I remember - I'm just so conditioned. I guess it will take a while to break out of the habits I've had with her for 14 years.

[ladywolf]

Thanks Rhapsedy.

Tomorrow I pick up her ashes. I am dreading it (I know I am going to be hysterical), although I know I will find some comfort in having her home. I still keep having those moments where I get up to check on her - then in a flash I remember - I'm just so conditioned. I guess it will take a while to break out of the habits I've had with her for 14 years.

For me, Banditsmom, there was a kind of sense of peace in receiving the ashes of the dogs I had cremated--another step in our closure. Maybe by thinking ahead of time that you will be hysterical, and experiencing those feelings, you won't be hysterical tomorrow. But if you are, it's perfectly okay! Certainly none of US will judge you for it!!

Keep the faith--

Margi and the Wolf

[banditsmom]

For me, Banditsmom, there was a kind of sense of peace in receiving the ashes of the dogs I had cremated--another step in our closure. Maybe by thinking ahead of time that you will be hysterical, and experiencing those feelings, you won't be hysterical tomorrow. But if you are, it's perfectly okay! Certainly none of US will judge you for it!!

Keep the faith--

Margi and the Wolf

I'm hoping that is how I will feel. It still does seem so hard to believe without her here, so if it helps with the acceptance, I welcome that! And I know if I'm not ok, I can come here, and someone will listen to me.