I Need Help (please) Options

[Rhapsedy]

It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.

I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it.

Thanks for listening.

Rhapsedy

[Brutus]

I sent a message to you about a couple of weeks ago, did you get it? I am still trying to figure out how things work on this website. ;-) Anyway, I was asking how you were doing and hoping things were going well.

no, I didn't get it.

However, I do feel better than I did a few months ago and I actually feel like I can carry on, I wasn't sure if I could make it thru before.

I'm so glad to read this, I too am doing better...said goodbye to sadness, which was difficult, because I felt like it might be "forgetting" Brutus. I know you will never forget nor will I. But we have to rid ourselves of the pain, guilt, anguish eventually...we deserve it and of course Callaway and Brutus would want us to be happy. I have finally been able to show real affection to my other dogs and that feels good, I feel guilty that I left them behind for a couple months but I will make it up to them. I know I will have setbacks...I still get tears in my eyes occasionally, but I'm able to think of happy times with Brutus. And if I have problems, I know I can come here and get comfort from the great people. I'll be thinking of you and praying for your continued peace.

Hugs to you and your dear precious Callaway,
Sonya