How To Savor The Time With A Dying Pet?, It's hard... Options

[ladywolf]

Hi All--

Darnnit, every time I look at Ladywolf now, I'm thinking, "she's dying, I wonder how much more time she has...?" I keep staring at her swollen back leg and wondering if it hurts her, if it's growing or shrinking, if, if, if. When I take her for a walk, I watch her movements constantly to see how much she's being affected by the tumors as she walks. I wonder how much she is missing Poppers. I feel as if I am not doing enough for her, when in fact, I am more or less dedicating my LIFE to her right now.

But there's little pleasure left in my interactions with her, because I am spending all my time with her WORRYING now! All this has happened since the vet confirmed that she has cancer--everything changed, somehow. I'm moving through all the stages of grief constantly, and don't know how to be with her in a "normal" way anymore. Does any of this make sense to you folks? I hate this. I don't want to look at my beloved beauty and see only "dying wolf." It's all making me a little insane, and very very sad.

Help, please! Thanks!

Margi and Ladywolf

[ABT]

Hi All--

Darnnit, every time I look at Ladywolf now, I'm thinking, "she's dying, I wonder how much more time she has...?" I keep staring at her swollen back leg and wondering if it hurts her, if it's growing or shrinking, if, if, if. When I take her for a walk, I watch her movements constantly to see how much she's being affected by the tumors as she walks. I wonder how much she is missing Poppers. I feel as if I am not doing enough for her, when in fact, I am more or less dedicating my LIFE to her right now.

But there's little pleasure left in my interactions with her, because I am spending all my time with her WORRYING now! All this has happened since the vet confirmed that she has cancer--everything changed, somehow. I'm moving through all the stages of grief constantly, and don't know how to be with her in a "normal" way anymore. Does any of this make sense to you folks? I hate this. I don't want to look at my beloved beauty and see only "dying wolf." It's all making me a little insane, and very very sad.

Help, please! Thanks!

Margi and Ladywolf

Hi Margi and Ladywolf
It makes perfect sense to me. I can really relate. I wish you strength.
Barb

[ladywolf]

Hi Margi and Ladywolf
It makes perfect sense to me. I can really relate. I wish you strength.
Barb

Rhapsody--

Thank you for your wish for a miracle. I do believe in miracles, although I'm not religious--I believe in miracles of NATURE, and Ladywolf is nothing if she is not NATURAL. As long as I don't sense that she is in terrific pain, we could go on indefinitely this way, since she isn't sick. She has a great appetite and great spirit and still gets P.O.'d at me if I don't take her out walking (like right now--it's pouring out, and she is giving me a very dirty look!)

Barb--

I'm more at peace with the situation than I was when I wrote the first post in this thread, which was right after I got Lady's diagnosis. I'm more "used to it" now, and am more relaxed about things--except when I'm NOT!!! The not knowing is the hardest part. If someone could TELL ME that I had a year left with her, then I could really relax. (Although if they said a month, I would freak out!)

Just now, for today, Lady's okay. That's all I can count on, just today...

Hugs--Margi and the Wolf