I Need Help (please) Options

[Rhapsedy]

It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.

I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it.

Thanks for listening.

Rhapsedy

[Brutus]

Rhapsedy...how have you been? I was thinking about you and your dear Callaway and wanted to drop you a line.

hugs,
Sonya

[Rhapsedy]

Hi Sonya,

I sent a message to you about a couple of weeks ago, did you get it? I am still trying to figure out how things work on this website. ;-) Anyway, I was asking how you were doing and hoping things were going well.

I am doing pretty good but I just miss Callaway so much! Sometimes my heart just sinks into my stomach. It's almost like I forget he's gone and when it hits me that he is gone it just drops me to my knees. However, I do feel better than I did a few months ago and I actually feel like I can carry on, I wasn't sure if I could make it thru before.

I hope you are doing better. I think about you and Brutus alot because you two had the same bond that Callaway and I had and I know the pain that you feel. I just love that picture of Brutus rolling around in the sand. The black lab that I'm taking care of does that on my floor all the time, I bet if I took him to a beach he would do that in the sand too.

Take care Sonya,
Rhapsedy



Rhapsedy...how have you been? I was thinking about you and your dear Callaway and wanted to drop you a line.

hugs,
Sonya
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