Friend's Story Options

[hopelessheart]

I’m so glad I found this site. I recently lost my cat Friend and, I’ve been having a tough time dealing with it. I’ve been feeling depressed and hopefully sharing my story will ease the pain.
My husband found Friend in a Home Depot parking lot during the winter a some years back. Somebody dumped Friend and a couple of his brothers and sisters who were all sadly run over. While walking to his car Friend popped out from underneath a nearby car. It was very cold and I believe he was just trying to keep warm. Friend was skittish at first, but after some convincing he ran into my husband’s arms. He brought Friend home and he very quickly became a member of our family.
We quickly noticed that Friend would rather hang outside than inside with our other cat. So we let him stay outside and our 32 acre ranch gave him plenty of room to hunt and play. Every morning he would come to eat, and on the occasional cold nights or hot days he’d come stay with us inside. He was such a joy to be around, always a laid back cat.
A couple of days ago I called Friend to eat in the morning and he didn’t show. I thought he had maybe run far off and decided to give him awhile to get home. After a couple of hours I realized he wasn’t coming home. In our area we do often have coyotes running around and I was afraid Friend had come across one. Three days went by and I still continued to call him never giving up hope. Finally while I was walking around searching for him I found him. He was crouched in a corner of our goat pen. I called him and called him but he wouldn’t get up. I knew then something was seriously wrong. It wasn’t until I got close to him that I realized the severity of Friend’s issues. It looked as if Friend had been hit by a car. My husband and I decided that Friend was too far gone and he might die on the trip to the vet. So we decided to take him home and take care of him until it was time to let go.
I stayed with Friend the whole night and just talked and petted him trying to make him comfortable. I often tell my animals a sort of bedtime story of how they came into our lives. So I told Friend the story and told him that I understood he was in pain and that it was his time to go. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as I told him the story. He was looking at me as if he was remembering and understood every word I said. I didn’t want him to die alone so I stayed with him. I got up to go check on my husband who wasn’t feeling too good, and it was at that moment that I left Friend alone that he passed.
My husband and I buried him under a tree on our property. It was so hard to let him go and I feel horrible that he died alone. I miss him and each day without him gets harder and harder. It’s been hard for me to go out in the morning as I was use to seeing him run towards me. Like I said before I hope me sharing this story helps with the pain. Thanks to anybody who reads Friend’s story.

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[hopelessheart]

Moon beam and Dottie I wish there were words for how truly appreciative I am of you and your words. It means so much to me that in my toughest times I have support from friends who know just what i'm going through. I feel like i'm never going to get over this heartache. I've been reading other's posts and I know that i'm not alone in my struggles. I keep wanting to reply and give hope to others as you have done for me, but it is so hard. Whenever I try I remember Friend and just cry and cry. My goal is to find some strength to help others. I hope that in helping others heal I will help myself heal as well. Thank you so much.

[ladywolf]

Moon beam and Dottie I wish there were words for how truly appreciative I am of you and your words. It means so much to me that in my toughest times I have support from friends who know just what i'm going through. I feel like i'm never going to get over this heartache. I've been reading other's posts and I know that i'm not alone in my struggles. I keep wanting to reply and give hope to others as you have done for me, but it is so hard. Whenever I try I remember Friend and just cry and cry. My goal is to find some strength to help others. I hope that in helping others heal I will help myself heal as well. Thank you so much.

Hi Hopelessheart-

I'm just catching up on the past few days (I had a computer virus), so I just read your posts, and responses, for the first time. Others have said so much of what I feel--I am so very, very sorry for your loss of Friend (what a GREAT name, by the way!) My heart is with you too.

I have one thought to add: it's said that more people die alone in hospitals and nursing homes in the middle of the night when no one is with them than during the day, when relatives and friends are around. The thinking on that is that it can be terribly hard to leave in the presence of the people whom you know are going to be so heartbroken over your passing, so many choose to leave when no one is there to witness it.

The same seems to be true of animals. My Poppers died about a month ago now, and I had been up all night with her for the better part of two nights, and she didn't die until I FINALLY decided to try to catch a little snooze. My father waited to pass until I left his room for the first time in many days. I felt horribly guilty that I wasn't with him, but Hospice workers were, and he was held and comforted--just not by me. I felt a little guilty about Poppers too, but I realize the truth in this theory that it can be so hard to let go when others are "clinging" to you.

Perhaps Friend felt that way too...

Let yourself grieve in whatever way that manifests. There's no logic to it--everyone's grief is different, yet similar...

Big big hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf (who has cancer and is slowly dying)