How To Savor The Time With A Dying Pet?, It's hard... Options

[ladywolf]

Hi All--

Darnnit, every time I look at Ladywolf now, I'm thinking, "she's dying, I wonder how much more time she has...?" I keep staring at her swollen back leg and wondering if it hurts her, if it's growing or shrinking, if, if, if. When I take her for a walk, I watch her movements constantly to see how much she's being affected by the tumors as she walks. I wonder how much she is missing Poppers. I feel as if I am not doing enough for her, when in fact, I am more or less dedicating my LIFE to her right now.

But there's little pleasure left in my interactions with her, because I am spending all my time with her WORRYING now! All this has happened since the vet confirmed that she has cancer--everything changed, somehow. I'm moving through all the stages of grief constantly, and don't know how to be with her in a "normal" way anymore. Does any of this make sense to you folks? I hate this. I don't want to look at my beloved beauty and see only "dying wolf." It's all making me a little insane, and very very sad.

Help, please! Thanks!

Margi and Ladywolf

[smokey/lady/max]

Margi,
Like I said I thought of your situation right away. It is very sad that they dont take payments specialy when an animal has chance to live. I hope Puck understands that she did all that she could. I know sometimes I need to listen to my own words. But as you know when its your own and your own feelings it is so hard to do. I did send her an angel. I dont know if its life is so hard on us or if its we are hard on ourselves I guess both. We all are keeping prayers fro Ladywolf.

Anna

[ladywolf]

Margi,
Like I said I thought of your situation right away. It is very sad that they dont take payments specialy when an animal has chance to live. I hope Puck understands that she did all that she could. I know sometimes I need to listen to my own words. But as you know when its your own and your own feelings it is so hard to do. I did send her an angel. I dont know if its life is so hard on us or if its we are hard on ourselves I guess both. We all are keeping prayers fro Ladywolf.

Anna

Anna--

Ladywolf is resting very comfortably tonight, after our running sprint today. To me, she appears to feel no pain yet, but who knows> She sure is trying to keep up with me--and I with her. That flat-out running contest was THE BEST!

I am so glad that right now my only financial considerations are paying for Lady's people food. There is so much good stuff in this house right now, you wouldn't believe it--hamburger, chicken breasts, brown rice, kale, spinach, broccoli, turkey, flaxseed oil, spirulina, echinacea (I spent all my food stamps on food for Lady)--if only I remember to eat some of it myself!

Margi and The Wolf

[ladywolf]

Ladywolf has been kind of stumbling around today, very unsure on her feet. (Her tumors are in her groin and one hind leg.)

So what did I do? Took a walloping fall in the kitchen after slipping on some of her spilled water. I'm okay, just bruised--but maybe I needed to be limping around a bit too today...

However do you just...wait like this? I watch her constantly--sometimes I am able to forget about it, but most of the time, I am not. This is like some kind of nether-world, neither here nor there. I'll probably never have a healthy wolf again--or maybe I will!--but meanwhile, I have an ailing, loving wolf. The stress of it is putting me to bed some nights at 7, and I''m used to staying up til 2. Life is sure different.

Any words of wisdom will be much appreciated.

Thanks, everyone!

Margi and Ladywolf