How To Savor The Time With A Dying Pet?, It's hard... Options

[ladywolf]

Hi All--

Darnnit, every time I look at Ladywolf now, I'm thinking, "she's dying, I wonder how much more time she has...?" I keep staring at her swollen back leg and wondering if it hurts her, if it's growing or shrinking, if, if, if. When I take her for a walk, I watch her movements constantly to see how much she's being affected by the tumors as she walks. I wonder how much she is missing Poppers. I feel as if I am not doing enough for her, when in fact, I am more or less dedicating my LIFE to her right now.

But there's little pleasure left in my interactions with her, because I am spending all my time with her WORRYING now! All this has happened since the vet confirmed that she has cancer--everything changed, somehow. I'm moving through all the stages of grief constantly, and don't know how to be with her in a "normal" way anymore. Does any of this make sense to you folks? I hate this. I don't want to look at my beloved beauty and see only "dying wolf." It's all making me a little insane, and very very sad.

Help, please! Thanks!

Margi and Ladywolf

[magdalene]

Take pictures, lots and lots of pictures. I treasure the pictures I have of Eileen so much but I don't have very many of them and I would give just about anything for more.

And then just spend lots and lots of time with her, holding her, petting her, loving her. I'd give all the world for one last day with Eileen, just to pet her and kiss her little head one more time.

Magdalene