How To Savor The Time With A Dying Pet?, It's hard... Options

[ladywolf]

Hi All--

Darnnit, every time I look at Ladywolf now, I'm thinking, "she's dying, I wonder how much more time she has...?" I keep staring at her swollen back leg and wondering if it hurts her, if it's growing or shrinking, if, if, if. When I take her for a walk, I watch her movements constantly to see how much she's being affected by the tumors as she walks. I wonder how much she is missing Poppers. I feel as if I am not doing enough for her, when in fact, I am more or less dedicating my LIFE to her right now.

But there's little pleasure left in my interactions with her, because I am spending all my time with her WORRYING now! All this has happened since the vet confirmed that she has cancer--everything changed, somehow. I'm moving through all the stages of grief constantly, and don't know how to be with her in a "normal" way anymore. Does any of this make sense to you folks? I hate this. I don't want to look at my beloved beauty and see only "dying wolf." It's all making me a little insane, and very very sad.

Help, please! Thanks!

Margi and Ladywolf

[Westiesam/Sharon]

Hi Margi
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Sammy wasn't well from last May until she was gone on December 7th. I was like you and worried about her constantly. I went from crying my head off to feeling calm again because all of the Vets said it was IBD. Now that I visit with them they think it probably was unconfirmed cancer - which is what I was thinking all along. I went through all the stages of grief too -- I watched her like a hawk for every little thing she did that seemed different. I got very little sleep during this time as I had to give her several meds and also as I mentioned I hand-fed her. I don't know what to say to help you feel normal around her -- when I read your post I realized that I wasn't "normal" around Sam all summer. But I can tell you that now that she is gone I am so grateful that I devoted my life to her like you are now to Ladywolf. I gave her the best chance she had to recover and I hope she now knows that. I don't think you'll regret it. I know you won't. I'm still praying that she'll have alot of time with you. I'm sorry that I can't be of more help to you.
Sharon