I Need Help (please) Options

[Rhapsedy]

It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.

I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it.

Thanks for listening.

Rhapsedy

[ladywolf]

Rhapsody:

"Not helpful" is a wonderful, helpful phrase! So is "Thank you for sharing, now please go away..."

Another trick is to spend ten minutes a day obsessing, I mean really OBSESSING on everything that you think went wrong. And then for the other 23 hours and 50 minutes, you don't let those thoughts in...you say to them, "wait til 5:00 p.m.", or whatever your "obsession" time is. That one can work like a charm.

I'm glad you had a good day, but gads, if anyone had given me a card from my remaining Wolfie and not Poppers, I would have bawled like a baby! If you toughed that out, you're getting stronger!

Big Hugs--Margi

[ladywolf]

Dear Rhapsody--

Just checking in to see how you're doing these days? Is the guilt easing up just a little? I find other peoples' stories here so helpful, since they remind me of the multitude of weird things that can happen at the end of our dogs' and cats' and birds' (and velociraptors?) lives. Few seem to get off easily.

Wanting to send renewed blessings--

Margi and LWolf