Please...some Support For Me, Poppers, And Ladywolf, Poppers is dying, I think... Options

[ladywolf]

Oh, so suddenly, Poppers, my 15-year-old Black Labrador, just lost control of her legs (and her mind, to some degree too.). She crashed all over the kitchen a couple of days ago, and I had to carry her back to the car after an attempt at a little outdoor time yesterday. Since then, she's just been resting, and I'm just...waiting. Waiting is awful, but she seems to be pretty comfortable, has even eaten something today and drunk a lot of water, but I can tell in my bones that she is dying.

Ladywolf and Poppers have been my only "blood" family for their entire lifetimes. (I was "orphaned" myself in my thirties, and now I'm 59. I have NO other family, except for extended family of friends.) So my girls and I have really been a unit, and man, have we been through it. After losing a lot of money, I have had to live in the woods in my car for extended periods of time so that my dog and wolf would have a happy, safe place to spend their time. We've lived in Death Valley in the summer, they survived for eight days when I fell sick about four years ago and lay on the bathroom floor with no food or water for EIGHT DAYS before I was found. (No, no heroic "Lassie-style" rescue on the part of my girls--they just waited patiently for me to wake up!)

And now Poppers is on her way out, and Ladywolf is 15 too and won't be TOO long behind her, and I am bereft. These will probably be my last dogs, as I have plans to leave the country when they have lived out their lifespans.

I just needed to tell a little of the story and seek a little comfort. I am hoping that Pops, AKA "Peabody," goes gently and swiftly and withOUT veterinary intervention, which I despise. If she was in great pain, that would be another matter, but I really do think that she is pretty comfortable. Ladywolf is a bit freaked, but she'll survive. So will I--but darnnit, why does everyone have to keep leaving me in December, just in time for the "holidays?" (I haven't celebrated Christmas in many years--there have been way too many deaths in December for me to feel at all "festive.")

I'm a psychotherapist, among other things, and I know a LOT about death and grieving, but this is my own beloved Poppers, and I'm just not ready!

Thanks in advance for your support!

Ladywolf (aka Margi)

[AngelCareOne]

Dearest Margi,

Firstly, please know that I'm speaking with you as a fellow member and not as person in the medical field. Okay? Here goes. I can't be certain, however from all you've described, it sounds like your mind is employing a wonderful defense mechanism. This is not denial that all this has happened and is still happening. Instead, it's your mind's way of coping with your terrible grief, loss and devastation until that point in time when you're able to actually face and deal with it. Whenever I refer to your mind, I'm talking about your consciousness, unconscious (or subconsious), ego, superego and id. Not the brain, but the mind. Our minds are an amazing thing and many times employ these and other techniques in order protect us both physically and emotionally until we're ready. This way, we're still able to function in our daily lives. Ladywolf, this is something you already know. You also realize how it's practically impossible to be objective about ourselves. How does that old saying go? "A doctor who treats himself has a fool for a patient." Don't we know that, and the hard way. Oy.

Anyway, not all people's minds have this capability of which I speak and some people's minds have this capability regarding certain events but not other events. There are also cases where it's all in the timing as to everything else that is going on in our lives. This includes memories of those events which have occurred in our distant and recent past as well. Notice that I use the word "time" a whole lot? That's not a coincidence since time is key. Space and time are both of great significance when it comes to each and every event in our lives be it joyful, sad, terrifying, horrifying, anger inducing, humorous and so on. We all react differently and timing plays a big part.

My heart truly goes out to you and I wish I could reach through this PC screen and give you a big hug. Eventually, it will all sink in and you may either feel at peace while heaving a deep sigh of relief, or you may very well begin to feel a great void, grief and devastation. When will it sink in? I don't have the answer to that since it's different for each of us when our minds kick in to protect us by use of these coping mechanisms. Please know that we're all here for you. Please come back and talk about the numbness, other feelings or lack of feelings. Remember to keep taking baby steps and be kind to you. You are a wonderful person and a wonderful Fur Kid Mommy! Please never forget that.

Many Comforting Hugs to you, Angel Fur Kid Poppers and Loving Ladywolf!

I Wish You Peace!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox