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![]() Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 258 Joined: 16-December 09 From: Jackson, MI Member No.: 6,273 ![]() |
It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.
I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it. Thanks for listening. Rhapsedy |
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![]() Group: Pet Lovers Posts: 511 Joined: 22-November 09 From: Chesaning, MI Member No.: 6,235 ![]() |
QUOTE has been very supportive but I think that he doesn't understand why I can't let this go. I so want to get to the point where I can think about all of the good times and smile and remember what a great life I gave Callaway Some men are just that way...my husband will respond when I talk about Brutus, but he quickly changes the subject. I don't think it's that they don't understand why we can't let go...at least in my case...they just don't want to see us sad and I sometimes think that maybe my husband thinks he is not handling his feelings in the proper way and when I freely let them out and he can't, he feels like maybe he is not behaving right???? I hide alot when I'm feeling real down and I try not to let him see me cry. I think he knows but he is in denial about it...it is easier for him to handle the whole situation (me being sad and Brutus being gone) if he pretends none of it happened. That is just his way of dealing with it I guess. The first three or four days Doug cried alot and then just boom...he stopped until last week...we were in the kitchen cooking dinner and a song came on the ipod that instantly struck a nerve with me and memories just came flooding back like a typhone...A tear ran down my face and he too started crying and then we looked at each other and laughed...and changed the song. It is so hard to get through....you will never get over your loss, just get through it...we can all get through it together. It's so great to be able to talk to people who truely understand and feel the same way...so come here often and say whatever you are feeling...we are all here for each other. Hugs, Brutus' Mom -------------------- ****Sonya****
In loving memory of my soulmate, Brutus...never forgotten, always missed. Brutus Midnight Gunsmoke Black Lab and best friend 11-22-96 to 11-16-09 |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 8th July 2025 - 06:58 PM |