I Need Help (please) Options

[Rhapsedy]

It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.

I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it.

Thanks for listening.

Rhapsedy

[Brutus]

Rhapsedy...I so understand, It's been almost 5 weeks that I made the decision to help Brutus, my 13 yr old lab soulmate, to the bridge. Brutus was tired and arthritis had consumed his back end. I had to hold his hind end up sometimes for him to go to the bathroom, as well as help him up from a laying position....but he still ate good, he still tried to play at times, the times were getting fewer and fewer but he still had a little drive left in him. He had a stroke a couple weeks before he passed as well. I miss him so much it's hard to breathe. I play the what if game too.....constantly. But I have decided I have to accept his death (and my decision) or it's going to eat me up inside.

Helping them over is the last thing we can do for them...it's a unselfish decision and a wonderful gift that we can give them.

It has helped me tremendously to come here and talk with others who feel my pain. Also to post pics of him and talk to him. Everyone here understands and cries with you.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom