I Need Help (please) Options

[Rhapsedy]

It has been 13 weeks since I put my soulmate Callaway to sleep and I am overcome with guilt. He had lymphoma and actually lasted longer than the vet thought he would. I had him on Predisolone which seemed to help keep his symptoms at bay. I cooked breakfast and dinner for him everyday for 6 months. He started getting worst. I finally made my decision when I came home and he was laying in a pool of urine because he couldn't get up. I have no idea how long he was laying like that but he looked so sad when I came home and found him that way.

I have been dealing with a bunch of what ifs... what if I would have tried different medication, what if I put him to sleep to soon, should I have gotten a second opinion... and on and on and on. But just the past few days I have been dealing with the look in his eyes when he was being put to sleep. He looked so scared. He had been so weak and when the vet came to euthanize him he got a burst of energy and the vet tech had to hold him down. I can't get that image out of my mind. I hate to think about the last moments of his life that he was scared. It is just consuming me and I don't know how to handle it.

Thanks for listening.

Rhapsedy

[janika]

I'm missing her so much... and also my Tasha, who left us over 3 years ago, but remembering how they used to be so worried if I was sad makes me try for their sakes to think of the happy times. I still cry every day, but thinking of them at those happy times is whats getting me through this. Also the help of the wonderful people on here who sadly understand everything we feel. I've made some wonderful friends and I thank my darling Noushka for leading me to them.
Posting pictures of my angel girls on here has helped me too. When you feel up to it I would love to see and hear all about your darling Callaway.

Take care of yourself, you will always be so precious to dear Callaway.

Love Jan xx