Please...some Support For Me, Poppers, And Ladywolf, Poppers is dying, I think... Options

[ladywolf]

Oh, so suddenly, Poppers, my 15-year-old Black Labrador, just lost control of her legs (and her mind, to some degree too.). She crashed all over the kitchen a couple of days ago, and I had to carry her back to the car after an attempt at a little outdoor time yesterday. Since then, she's just been resting, and I'm just...waiting. Waiting is awful, but she seems to be pretty comfortable, has even eaten something today and drunk a lot of water, but I can tell in my bones that she is dying.

Ladywolf and Poppers have been my only "blood" family for their entire lifetimes. (I was "orphaned" myself in my thirties, and now I'm 59. I have NO other family, except for extended family of friends.) So my girls and I have really been a unit, and man, have we been through it. After losing a lot of money, I have had to live in the woods in my car for extended periods of time so that my dog and wolf would have a happy, safe place to spend their time. We've lived in Death Valley in the summer, they survived for eight days when I fell sick about four years ago and lay on the bathroom floor with no food or water for EIGHT DAYS before I was found. (No, no heroic "Lassie-style" rescue on the part of my girls--they just waited patiently for me to wake up!)

And now Poppers is on her way out, and Ladywolf is 15 too and won't be TOO long behind her, and I am bereft. These will probably be my last dogs, as I have plans to leave the country when they have lived out their lifespans.

I just needed to tell a little of the story and seek a little comfort. I am hoping that Pops, AKA "Peabody," goes gently and swiftly and withOUT veterinary intervention, which I despise. If she was in great pain, that would be another matter, but I really do think that she is pretty comfortable. Ladywolf is a bit freaked, but she'll survive. So will I--but darnnit, why does everyone have to keep leaving me in December, just in time for the "holidays?" (I haven't celebrated Christmas in many years--there have been way too many deaths in December for me to feel at all "festive.")

I'm a psychotherapist, among other things, and I know a LOT about death and grieving, but this is my own beloved Poppers, and I'm just not ready!

Thanks in advance for your support!

Ladywolf (aka Margi)

[ladywolf]

This will be very short--I just wrote a long, heartfelt entry, and then lost it when I tried to post it. Poppers died this morning, on her own withOUT vet intervention. Her pain did not become acute until last night, and then it became horrible, so it was a great relief when she passed.

DARNNIT I'm sorry I lost what I just wrote, because I don't have the energy to write it all over again. Ladywolf (who has a groin tumor and a swollen leg) and I are doing pretty well, all things considered, because I am carrying no guilt. Guilt is the killer. I took Pop-pops to a vet on Friday, and she couldn't find anything obviously wrong with her, so I guess she died of cancer or kidney failure or another of those invisible things. I'm glad I didn't spend another $150 on blood tests, only to have her die the next day anyway. I cried a lot before she died, so I haven't cried much yet today--I must kind of be in denial right now.

This is not at all the eloquent heartfelt post that I just wrote and lost--it's only the facts, more or less. I will miss that gentle, loving, non-aggressive, patient, loyal, anything to please little girl for a long long time. Now it's just me and the Wolf: impatient, demanding, wants to have everything HER way, doesn't care much about pleasing--but OH, what an experience she is on every other level!!!!

I'm making a copy of this note before I try to post it, lest I lose it! Much love to all of you, and thanks for your support!

Hugs--Margi

[AngelCareOne]

This will be very short--I just wrote a long, heartfelt entry, and then lost it when I tried to post it. Poppers died this morning, on her own withOUT vet intervention. Her pain did not become acute until last night, and then it became horrible, so it was a great relief when she passed.

DARNNIT I'm sorry I lost what I just wrote, because I don't have the energy to write it all over again. Ladywolf (who has a groin tumor and a swollen leg) and I are doing pretty well, all things considered, because I am carrying no guilt. Guilt is the killer. I took Pop-pops to a vet on Friday, and she couldn't find anything obviously wrong with her, so I guess she died of cancer or kidney failure or another of those invisible things. I'm glad I didn't spend another $150 on blood tests, only to have her die the next day anyway. I cried a lot before she died, so I haven't cried much yet today--I must kind of be in denial right now.

This is not at all the eloquent heartfelt post that I just wrote and lost--it's only the facts, more or less. I will miss that gentle, loving, non-aggressive, patient, loyal, anything to please little girl for a long long time. Now it's just me and the Wolf: impatient, demanding, wants to have everything HER way, doesn't care much about pleasing--but OH, what an experience she is on every other level!!!!

I'm making a copy of this note before I try to post it, lest I lose it! Much love to all of you, and thanks for your support!

Hugs--Margi

I am so very sorry, Margi. Your heart must be broken and all hasn't sunken in just yet.

Please accept my deepest condolenses at the loss of your precious Poppers.



I see you're not able to sleep and that's most understandable. Hugs!!!

Please know that you and your Angel Fur kid are in my thoughts and prayers as I wing many loving Angels to soothe and gently guide you through this most difficult time in your life.

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Cherished Angel Fur Child!!!

I Wish You Peace!!!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox