I Did Not See This Coming, Sudden Death Options

[sheppie]

Friday the 13th at 4pm, let the dogs out in the backyard and my toddler and I got dressed to join them.
At 4:30 noticed my husky/shepherd x struggling to catch her breath. I placed her on the grass and rolled her
gently over. She was in distress and did not have good colour. I rushed her into the vets office. I was there in 10 mins.
From my time of arrival to the the xray being taken and the terrible news "hemangiosarcoma"....was total time 20 mins.
I said "are you suggesting euthanasia"...to which the vet nodded her head. "What"???????????????????????????????????? I walked this morning and she was running around the yard and barking at 4pm....less than 1 hour ago.

I did not see this coming. She was the picture of health. Never vet related issues only yearly exams. Plus we just had her bloodwork done in July to make sure she was great. So she was 11 but had the energy, great body weight and playfulness of a 3 year old.

I work in a vets office so I see things. But...this is my dog. I cannot eat/sleep or function. I wished (in anger) my other left instead (German Shepherd) as she is dog aggressive and not as kindly towards my toddler on occasion.

I am looking for help...but don't know what kind. I am looking for answers yet know there are not any really. How will I get over this? Will I get over this? I hate everybody right now. I am angry and sad and starting to get mad.

How does a dog that is walked daily, is trim, fed excellent food, well cared for and extremely loved get this nasty cancer?
Why is cancer for dogs on the rise?

So so so sad

[Brutus]

Awwee Sheppie, hang in there. Getting the urn was rough for me, but once I got it home and started thinking of ways to honor my furbaby it was therapeutic (sp?). We are at our week-end house today for 3 days and I did bring Brutus with me this time. I didn't do it last week on the advice of my hubby, but last week I was in much worse shape. I said yesterday when we left to Doug, "I'm bringing Brutus with us this week"...he said "good". So he is sitting on my dresser now...I'm thinking I might make a shelf for him here too. I do have a framed picture of him here on my dresser with one of his toys, so I put the urn (don't know why it's called an urn, when it's a box) with those. I also framed my poem here and hung it on a wall with a picture of my pooh-man above it. Plus I have a beautiful painting of him here above my couch. I will have to post a pic sometime of it (on dial up now). Doing all these pics/poems/etc in both houses has really helped me alot.

I am also working on a large colliage (sp?) picture that I'm planning on hanging above his shelf at our home.

Hugs to you, thinking of you,
Brutus' Mom