Frasier's Story Options

[tanbuck]

Frasier’s story begins 14 years ago on a stormy night. I worked at my vet at the time and we were getting ready to close for the evening. One of our clients came in to drop off 2 kittens to be neutered the next day. She was overwhelmed by how many pets she had. When those 2 little orange heads poked through that cardboard carrier I immediately asked if I could have them! It’s not easy for me to make a quick decision so where that response came from, I do not know!
She told me I could have Niles(whose name was Simba) but not Frasier because he was a love bug and they didn’t want to give him up. When she came to pick him up I again told her that I would take him if she ever wanted to give him up. Luckily for me, 2 months later she did. My heart expanded and I fell in love again. The “brothers” were reunited and our life together began. Four years later we got Buck, a yellow lab/golden retriever mix. Niles couldn’t have cared less but Frasier had found his nemesis! He loved to hate Buck! Even though Buck had never done anything to hurt him, Frasier always acted like he was about to be eaten alive. But even still, he always made sure he was near Buck. He tried so hard to keep his love for Buck a secret but he was so transparent.
Frasier lived in his own imaginary world most of the time. We often joked that he wasn’t all there. Bless his heart. He played with wads of paper like they were hot potatoes. He would walk down the hall with one in his mouth meowing the whole way. In his mind, the plastic wrap off the ice cream carton was a dangerous anaconda. He entertained himself and us at the same time. He was the court jester of the house. He loved his brother, Niles, and I believe he looked to him for when to be scared and when not. If they heard a loud noise he would look at Niles and if Niles didn’t react then he didn’t react. If Niles looked afraid, Frasier would get afraid. They slept together so much I hardly have any pictures of them apart from one another.
Then came last year. I often noticed that he would sit away from us and had a look on his face like he knew something. My husband kept telling me to quit worrying so much. By Christmas, it was obvious I wasn’t worrying in vain. He started having trouble having bowel movements. He was diagnosed with megacolon and inflammatory bowel disease. This was manageable with medication although it was a daily adjustment as he would hit bumps in the road frequently. I always knew he was physically stronger than Niles but I began to realize that he wasn’t strong mentally. We could tell that he was troubled by his illness even when he didn’t need to be. He looked worried and medicating him really took a toll on him.
In June I began saying he just didn’t look like he was thriving. He was losing weight even though his systems were functioning. He began to pull away from Niles in July. His expression would fall when Niles came in the room. It was as if he was thinking, “why does he have to come in here?” He began sleeping during the day in the guest bedroom. I tried to tell myself that he just found a new spot as they often do. But deep down, I worried. I tended to his every need and tried to take the burden of worry from him. We finally found a food he was excited about and I felt like he was putting on some weight. Then I noticed that the weight was only in his abdomen and he still wasn’t thriving. My worry grew into a sick feeling in my stomach. Three weeks ago he stopped having bowel movements. I thought he was becoming impacted. My vet and I have been in constant contact this whole year (Buck has medical issues as well) and we decided to give him a little more time since it stressed him out so much to go to the hospital. He then quit eating and his abdomen was very large. I took him in on a Thursday and the vet discovered it had nothing to do with his megacolon. His abdomen was full of fluid - the result of either cancer, liver failure, or heart failure. The tests came back indicating heart failure. It would be manageable if we could get the fluid down. Days later, the medication hadn’t worked and he was even more uncomfortable. He then stopped urinating. I knew the medication had destroyed his kidneys. It was just too much to ask his kidneys to get all that fluid out. The night before he died was another stormy night just like when he first came into my life. I felt it was a sign. We took him back the following Thursday and the blood test confirmed what I already knew. The vet said the best thing would be to put him to sleep that day because the level of his kidneys indicated that he was on the verge of neurological breakdown and seizures. I couldn’t allow that for baby Frasier. My husband took him home and I left work. The vet was coming to our house on his lunch break so we could do it at our home instead of the hospital. I am so grateful for that. But I sat watching the clock and counting the hours then minutes before he would be gone. I felt like I was waiting for the grim reaper. When I got within one hour left of his life, I could barely breathe. I sat in the hall and stared at him as he tried to get comfortable and rest. I can’t bear to even look at the watch I was wearing that day because it counted down to the worst hours of my life. His last moments were peaceful for him but there aren’t words to describe what I was feeling. Over and over in the days that followed, I felt like he had been physically attached to me and was being pulled from my body. I was overwhelmed with the physical part of grief.
I have sniffled, cried, wailed, and sat silent with my head back and my mouth open. I have pounded the floor, I have screamed, and I have sat expressionless. I’ve been in the fetal position and I have squatted on the floor and I have spent a lot of time on my knees. I don't want anything new in the house because I don't want there to be anything he doesn't know about. I don't want there to be life without him. I know I will go on and I know I will be ok but I just wanted to tell his story to the universe so that someone/anyone will know his story. I miss you baby Frasier. My little Bean Bean.

[janika]

Oh Donna

I really do know just what you are saying and how you are feeling. Our Tasha was diabetic for the last 6 years of her life , bless her, and my husband and I never had holidays together as we couldn't leave her, and wouldn't have wanted to , she was so dependent on us. She left us almost 4 years ago, when she was 14 and Noushka was 9. I had to call the vet to come to our home to let her have peace at last, her quality of life had gone and I couldn't let her suffer. It was the most terrible thing I've ever had to do. I held her close and let her go. It broke my heart. Noushka got me through that terrible time. She missed her too and she needed me to care for her.
We had a scare with Noushka a few months after that. She had Pyometra and had to have emergency surgery to remove her womb and ovaries. I was petrified that we would lose her, but miraculously she pulled through and made a remarkable recovery. The next couple of years or so were good, she was very active for a dog her age, but like you say I worried so much about the next few years and what they had in store for us. I dreaded the time when Noushka would leave me too, instead of enjoying every precious minute.

At 12 she was much slower and sleeping more but still had a good life with short walkies and playful times with her rope and ball right up to the end of August this year, aged 13 . Then she suddenly went off her food and spent most of the time sleeping. Nothing too unusual as she has always been a bit of a picky eater. She didn't improve so we took her to the vets who kept her in for tests overnight. They called in the morning to say she hadn't made it through the night. I fell to pieces, I just couldn't believe it.
Its 12 weeks now and I still can't bear it. I miss her so much. I keep thinking that I should have known how seriously ill she was. But it happened so quickly. I just didn't realise.
I read your story about your darling Frasier . Also Harley Parleys story written by Don after searching for help on here. Your two postings are what made me join Ls and I thankyou for your help, Donna , as I know you replied, when I eventually managed to post on here.
Hopefully the glad times will come more readily to us than the sad times, and then we can move forward as our darling pets would want us to. We will never forget them, and would never want to. We must always remember how wonderful it was that we were the fortunate ones who got to have them in our lives.
Love and hugs for you and your fur friends
Thinking of you
Jan xx