I Did Not See This Coming, Sudden Death Options

[sheppie]

Friday the 13th at 4pm, let the dogs out in the backyard and my toddler and I got dressed to join them.
At 4:30 noticed my husky/shepherd x struggling to catch her breath. I placed her on the grass and rolled her
gently over. She was in distress and did not have good colour. I rushed her into the vets office. I was there in 10 mins.
From my time of arrival to the the xray being taken and the terrible news "hemangiosarcoma"....was total time 20 mins.
I said "are you suggesting euthanasia"...to which the vet nodded her head. "What"???????????????????????????????????? I walked this morning and she was running around the yard and barking at 4pm....less than 1 hour ago.

I did not see this coming. She was the picture of health. Never vet related issues only yearly exams. Plus we just had her bloodwork done in July to make sure she was great. So she was 11 but had the energy, great body weight and playfulness of a 3 year old.

I work in a vets office so I see things. But...this is my dog. I cannot eat/sleep or function. I wished (in anger) my other left instead (German Shepherd) as she is dog aggressive and not as kindly towards my toddler on occasion.

I am looking for help...but don't know what kind. I am looking for answers yet know there are not any really. How will I get over this? Will I get over this? I hate everybody right now. I am angry and sad and starting to get mad.

How does a dog that is walked daily, is trim, fed excellent food, well cared for and extremely loved get this nasty cancer?
Why is cancer for dogs on the rise?

So so so sad

[sheppie]

Day 5 without her.................

My family I know thinks 'enough already'...but I just cannot help feeling so down.
I am trying to be up for my toddler, but i am really just acting.

I don't want to play in the backyard anymore. Her fur is all over the yard
as I had brushed her 2 days before.

I look out in the backyard and all I see is her. I am having a hard time being warm and fuzzy with
my shepherd. Jazzie. I know she feels the loss too....but I just cannot drum up the energy.

I chose the urn and will have it engraved. Today is the day they cremate her.

I have read many a post on here and it helps for a bit, then I just sink again.

[BlessedByMolly]

Day 5 without her.................

My family I know thinks 'enough already'...but I just cannot help feeling so down.
I am trying to be up for my toddler, but i am really just acting.

I don't want to play in the backyard anymore. Her fur is all over the yard
as I had brushed her 2 days before.

I look out in the backyard and all I see is her. I am having a hard time being warm and fuzzy with
my shepherd. Jazzie. I know she feels the loss too....but I just cannot drum up the energy.

I chose the urn and will have it engraved. Today is the day they cremate her.

I have read many a post on here and it helps for a bit, then I just sink again.

Hi Sheppie-
I can relate to you, I'm so sorry for your pain. I am on day 8 without my Molly. She had just turned 14 and was diagnosed with Glaucoma of the eye. She was already blind but I had to make the decision to end her life because I did not want to go thru with surgery to remove the eye nor did I have the money for the expensive treatment that was not guaranteed to work for her. I could not see her in pain, and now I see signs that I didn't see when she was here. She was a Jack Russell Terrier and I had
her since she was 9 weeks old.

I know you will miss your dog as I will miss mine too.
Just know I am so there with you. I feel sometimes people don't understand how I feel, do they know how empty and cold my home feels now? I still leave the closet door open for her like I always did because her toy box was in there. 14 year habits are hard to let go. I have cried everyday.

I am frantically searching for something that will make me feel better and have yet to find it.
No luck at all. I don't know what to expect in the journey I must now take without her. I feel no desire to look for a job. I have been unemployed now going on 11 months. The recession hit me hard.
I am single and live alone and this dog was my child.
I feel I have been stripped of the things that were most dear to me.
I thought about it today and I asked God, what more can you take from me?
I do believe everything we go thru there is a lesson to be learned. I have to keep cherishing
the fact that I have alot of good memories with my little one and she got me thru alot of hard times
in my life. I only showed complete mercy to her ending her life without continuous pain and suffering.
It was her time to go, and it is my time to let go.

If you need anything, let me know.. Please know you are not alone in feeling the pain and loss..
I will say prayers for you..
Dawn

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