Molly Was Special Options

[Shawn H]

I got Molly in my mid 20's, when she was just a couple of months old. She was born on February 22, 1995. I loved Molly so, so much. She was a little 4 1/2 pound Yorkie and the world revolved around her as far as I was concerned. She saw me through some very rough times and brought back my health by eliminating a lot of stress I was going through. I would come home and she was there for me, always happy to see me. She did funny little things that I will always remember. I cannot explain how much I know she loved me and I loved her. My parents would always say, "There is no question that she's your dog." When they would watch her for me and I'd come home, I was the only one in the room as far as she was concerned.

It is so hard right now. Molly has had problems over the years. We had a horrible fight with Cushings about 5 years ago that was totally resolved. She only had to be on medications for a few months, maybe half a year and the Cushings never came back. I nearly lost her when she reacted to the medications. I was so thankful to God that I still had her. She's had dental issues much of her life. I constantly fought her dental problems, getting her teeth cleaned regularly. She still had problems. She had a bad knee but never complained. I didn't even realize how bad the arthritis was and how bad her knee really was until we took an xray about a month ago.

Molly had been breathing a little rougher and faster the past month or two. I thought it was a rug in the room, which I replaced. Then I put an air cleaner in the room. She began limping on the bad knee, which now makes sense to me. She was getting weaker. It wasn't just the knee. She had several fainting spells about 1-2 weeks before she left us, which scared her. We comforted her as much as we could. We rushed her to the vet where they did an x-ray of her chest. She had fluid on her lungs and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure a week before she left us. I was in shock. We worked with the meds another week to help her breathe easier and try to help her heart. The Friday before she left, her lungs were clear. The vet was so excited and said everything was fine. But she was still limping and looked weak. He couldn't explain the weakness.

Without dredging up the recent bad memories too much, we rushed her to the emergency room at about 9:30pm that same day, just last Friday. The fluid was already back a little bit, but not as bad. I asked them to do everything possible. When I saw her last, she was on oxygen, up, walking around and looked really good. In the night, her heart stopped twice. They revived her once and thought she was really going to be fine. They told me she was even resting comfortably. They gave her pain meds and were with her constantly. But the 2nd time, it was just too severe. She passed away at around 3am - 3:30am on Saturday November 14, 2009. They tried 10 minutes to revive her and just could not. I had held her a long time the evening before and she seemed comfortable and happy.

I am incredibly heartbroken. I feel like I was so lucky to have her in my life almost 14 years and 9 months. The first day, I really just didn't even know what to do. It's been 2 full days and I am still incredibly sad. I will never get over this. I begged God to not take her from me yet. My dad says that's why I got the last week with her and to be thankful she was comfortable, happy, eating, drinking, and was still the Molly I loved and will remember. I am sad I wasn't there with her when she passed. But I know she was comfortable and well-taken care of. She knew I always tried to do the best I could for her.

I'm sorry this is so long. But it helps to just get it out. I am missing a piece of my life and it's nice to find a place where others understand this sort of bond.

[patricia]

i agree with madi. the fact is you are in deep pain because of the loss of your molly. gender doesnt even come into play. dont ever think that is wierd. you have a wonderful and big heart and thats what matters. you connected with molly because she is of a beautiful species that love unconditionally. that touches us deeply. you know now that i have little lucy in my life, sometimes i come home very tired and just want to go to bed but she on the other hand is so happy mommas home and wants to play. and even when im a little sharp with her, she continues to give kisses and that tail never stops wagging. someone here (awhile back) posted something that will stay with me forever: they said if you want to know how deep the love of your pet is for you, leave them outside for the night along with your better half. in the morning only one of the two will be happy to see you. that, to me was pretty intense and so true. and thats why we have such a deep love and bond with our furry ones.
Can i give you a little bit of advice? (take it with a grain of salt:) but dont close yourself off to another dog/cat. when i lost my kitty of 14 years not too long ago. i felt the same way. but as i have mentioned here before lucy just fell out of the sky and the lessons i have learned from her will stay with me forever. i did not go searching for another animal. in fact i was dead set upon never having another pet for the remainder of my life. it was just too painful and i too felt that my kitties could never be replaced. however lucy needed a home or she would be back in the shelter (in a nutshell; her foster family had found her laying by the side of the road after having been hit by a car or truck (i think it was a truck because to this day shes afraid of them). turns out she had been thrown out in the street at the young age of 4 mths. however after they rushed her to er and paid an enourmous bill that they generously paid out of their own pocket, they realized they couldnt keep her) let me tell you, i desperately did NOT want another pet, but her story touched my heart and i agreed. if you can believe it, all of this happened a week after freds passing. and i dont regret it one bit. im not saying go and get another one right now. you will know. but the greatest lesson i have learned is that both lucy and i know that she cannot replace fred and riley because they have one giant special place in my heart but she showed me that my heart is big enough for her too. it hasnt been easy. the trauma of it all.. there are days still that i cry for my kitties (and riley passed away a year and a half ago) and the worst thing is that even though lucy just turned one, i think forward to the day when she may leave me and that sends me into the waterworks phase. but i dont regret it. she has helped heal my very very broken heart. she makes me laugh, she makes me mad like when she grabs my yarn and runs all over the place but i know that when its her turn (and im crying now she too (just like i believe fred had a paw in bringing lucy to me) will send me a little one to heal my heart as well. molly will live in your heart forever. she will never never be replaced. that can never happen even with a new little one. time heals all wounds...
you are in my thoughts and prayers. and since youve "met" lucy now, she and i send you big hugs
patricia