What Do You Do Options

[Nataisa]

Hi,

What do you do to keep yourself busy? It's Sunday and every time I try and think of something to do I just start crying again. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept getting out of bed, turning the TV on, watching it for ten minutes and then crying and had to find something else to do.
I took a couple of photos of Nataisa yesterday. I had collected her from the vet so I could spend her last few hours with her. I am waiting for the shops to open so I can get those photos printed. I know as soon as I see the photos the tears will start flowing again. I went to the supermarket last night and became tearful as I passed the deli and cat food areas. I have been visiting both shops every 2 days to buy fresh and tinned food to try and motivate Nataisa to eat.
I don’t think I will be able to go to work on Monday. I teach young children and it would be difficult if I started crying in front of the class and I think this is quite likely to happen. Also I may be able to collect her ashes on Monday. I am not sure if this will help. At this stage I really want her ashes here. I found a tiny clump of her hair on the floor last night. She was always leaving hair everywhere.
Maybe I will have a coffee and sit in the corner of a café and view the photos when printed. Later I will probably ask my mum to come over for a roast meal. I really don’t want to be alone but I am crying most of the time, so it is a bit difficult to be with people. Also I don’t really know anyone that understands this type of grief. The people I know have already lacked empathy and have found it difficult to understand the time, money and effort that have been used to support Nataisa. My neighbor knocked on my door yesterday. I tried to explain I was spending Nataisa’s last day with her. She looked bewildered and said, ‘well she’s had a good long life’ and then left .I don’t care that Nataisa was old I still want her here. I just don’t know what to do with myself. These feelings are so painfull. They are so much worse than I thought they would be.
Liz

[janika]

Hi,

What do you do to keep yourself busy? It's Sunday and every time I try and think of something to do I just start crying again. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept getting out of bed, turning the TV on, watching it for ten minutes and then crying and had to find something else to do.
I took a couple of photos of Nataisa yesterday. I had collected her from the vet so I could spend her last few hours with her. I am waiting for the shops to open so I can get those photos printed. I know as soon as I see the photos the tears will start flowing again. I went to the supermarket last night and became tearful as I passed the deli and cat food areas. I have been visiting both shops every 2 days to buy fresh and tinned food to try and motivate Nataisa to eat.
I don’t think I will be able to go to work on Monday. I teach young children and it would be difficult if I started crying in front of the class and I think this is quite likely to happen. Also I may be able to collect her ashes on Monday. I am not sure if this will help. At this stage I really want her ashes here. I found a tiny clump of her hair on the floor last night. She was always leaving hair everywhere.
Maybe I will have a coffee and sit in the corner of a café and view the photos when printed. Later I will probably ask my mum to come over for a roast meal. I really don’t want to be alone but I am crying most of the time, so it is a bit difficult to be with people. Also I don’t really know anyone that understands this type of grief. The people I know have already lacked empathy and have found it difficult to understand the time, money and effort that have been used to support Nataisa. My neighbor knocked on my door yesterday. I tried to explain I was spending Nataisa’s last day with her. She looked bewildered and said, ‘well she’s had a good long life’ and then left .I don’t care that Nataisa was old I still want her here. I just don’t know what to do with myself. These feelings are so painfull. They are so much worse than I thought they would be.
Liz

Hi Liz
Its 2 months since I lost my darling samoyed Noushka. I've been on this website many times since then. I've just had another crying session and I needed the company of like minded people who are also suffering the heartache of losing a beloved pet. No-one can take away the pain that you are feeling but it might help you to know that I have done all the things that you have mentioned, such as the photos and finding clumps of hair. Noushka was with us for 13 years and your Nataisa I believe was 18. You certainly must have loved her and looked after her so well. We must try and remember all the happy times and the love that we shared and know that they loved us so much and were always unhappy when we were unhappy, so for their sakes we must carry on.
The heartache will gradually ease, but it doesn't mean we think any the less of them or love them less. I lost my first samoyed , Tasha almost 3 years ago, when she was 14. I was absolutely heartbroken then. Noushka helped me to carry on, and we helped each other as she missed her so much too. Now they are both gone and my life seems so empty without them.
We must think of the positive things that our pets gave us and be so happy that we got to share our lives with them.
Please be strong and remember that like my two Sammies, your Nataisa will always be a part of you and want you to remember her in a Happy way.
If you can get back to your school and the children you may feel a little better. I know being with my young grandchildren helps me.
Thinking of you with love.
Jan