Thinking Of Harley Options

[harlequin]

I lost my boxer,Harley, on July, 4, 2009. She was my first dog ever. Words cannot express how much a part of my life she was. In June I noticed she wasn't breathing well and not keeping down her water. I took her to the vet thinking she had eaten something that was creating all this discomfort. The vet x-rayed and found a mass in her chest. After a biopsy he told me that it was mediastinal lymphoma and that she had 3 months to live. I was devastated, especially when after 6 weeks she stopped eating and drinking. For my husband and I, it was the toughest decision we had to make to put her down. I feel such a sense of loss and can't seem to find my way back to being happy again.

On top of all of this, my husband and I decided to fill the emptiness by getting two new pups. It's true that they are loving, good dogs but I just can't make a connection. I feel like I'm taking care of someone else's dogs and I wish that someone would relieve me. My husband seems to have moved on but I cry almost every day. I am so stressed out and just want to feel normal again. Is this even normal or do I just lack natural affection? I wish I could get back.

Attached image(s)

 

[harlequin]

I had a terrible day today, thinking of Harley. I feel like have the weight of the world on me. I think my husband is beginning to hate me. He says that he hates dealing with this everyday. He yells at me when I tell him how I'm feeling about the new dogs and always assumes that I am just trying to get "rid" of them. Along with everything I feel like I have an enemy in my house. I don't know what to do, I don't act this way on purpose.