Thinking Of Harley Options

[harlequin]

I lost my boxer,Harley, on July, 4, 2009. She was my first dog ever. Words cannot express how much a part of my life she was. In June I noticed she wasn't breathing well and not keeping down her water. I took her to the vet thinking she had eaten something that was creating all this discomfort. The vet x-rayed and found a mass in her chest. After a biopsy he told me that it was mediastinal lymphoma and that she had 3 months to live. I was devastated, especially when after 6 weeks she stopped eating and drinking. For my husband and I, it was the toughest decision we had to make to put her down. I feel such a sense of loss and can't seem to find my way back to being happy again.

On top of all of this, my husband and I decided to fill the emptiness by getting two new pups. It's true that they are loving, good dogs but I just can't make a connection. I feel like I'm taking care of someone else's dogs and I wish that someone would relieve me. My husband seems to have moved on but I cry almost every day. I am so stressed out and just want to feel normal again. Is this even normal or do I just lack natural affection? I wish I could get back.

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[tanbuck]

I'm sorry about Harley. I think it's probably normal to feel the way you do. I don't know how long you had Harley but a few months isn't just going to erase all that time. Everybody heals at their own speed. And the way you feel about the new pups, I wouldn't make yourself feel bad. For what it's worth, I don't think you lack natural affection because if you did, you never would've bonded with Harley. Give yourself some time. The good thing about dogs, as you know, is that they are patient with us. They're happy to be with us no matter how we feel. When our cat, Frasier, died, I found myself having the strangest detachment from his littermate, Niles. I love Niles sometimes more than air it seems, but in those first weeks I just couldn't connect. It was the strangest feeling and I felt so guilty and sorry for him. I can't really explain what I was thinking and feeling but my point is that if I felt that way about my own "baby" I have known and loved for 14 years then surely it will take you time to learn to love those that are new to you. I don't know, I hope that helps.
-Donna