I Never Knew It Would Hurt This Bad Options

[Cyoung5555]

My 13-year old Maine Coon, Franklin, passed away on September 26th. He was suffering from a number of medical issues which were beginning to cause him pain and had greatly deteriorated his quality of life. For the past 4 weeks, my husband and I agonized over his decline, thinking that he could pass away any day. On September 25th we made the decision to put him to sleep. To make it easier on him, we asked the vet to come to our house. He hated the car and the vet and we wanted him to be comfortable. For 15 hours we cried and tried to make our last hours together special, even though he didn't really know who we were anymore. The act of putting him to sleep was incredibly painful for me to watch as was the act of burying him.

I feel like I am so sad that I can barely breathe. I feel incredibly guilty for making the decision to put him to sleep. I feel like there is a whole in my heart and all of the air is leaking out of me. I knew that I loved Franklin like he was my baby, but I never knew that it would hurt this bad.

[patricia]

dear franklins mom,
im so sorry for your loss. i know what you are going thru as i lost my fred of 14 years not too long ago. diabetes stole him away from me and i had to make that horrible decision as well. i wish there was something i could say that would make it all better but i know there isnt. i cried till i didnt think there were any tears left and then i cried some more. i just didnt even want to get out of bed. nothing mattered to me anymore. but time heals as does writing about your grief. we are here for you. we understand your excruciating pain, that hole in your heart. you did the right thing, out of love. please release the guilt. franklin would not want you to feel bad. you gave him a gift; you released him from his discomfort, his pain and although in turn, we are left in pain, it was the right thing to do. take it one day at a time, one minute at a time and when you feel like the pain is so bad, remember and hold on to the fact that franklin is ok now. hes not hurting anymore and hes your little angel now, looking after his mom.
keep writing as it is very healing. we are here for you.

you are in my thoughts
patricia