Also Feeling Guilty Options

[Missing Katie...]

I want to tell you all how relieved I was to find this website today. All of your stories and support have helped me get through the day. Let me tell you my story.....

We lost our beautiful Katie yesterday afternoon. We rescued her from a shelter about 3 years ago. She was a Border Collie/German Shephard mix and she had the best personality. She would follow me around the house and stand next to me in the kitchen when I was cooking, sleep with me. She was my bug...(nickname). She was not crazy about smaller dogs and always had her eye on the one across the street...which brings me to my story (finally).

I had just gotten home from grocery shopping and I was going in and out of the front door with bags. Well, the dog across the street happened to get out of the house at the very same time and Katie pushed herself out the door and starting running full force for this small dog. We live on a very busy road and I saw it coming....I yelled for her and yelled for her to stop, but Katie was hit by an SUV. It was a horrible site and sound. The neighbors ran out and moved her to a driveway and Katie looked ok....she had no visible wounds and she was just lying there on the group, but she was calm...I later found out that she was actually in shock.

My husband was not home at the time, but arrived shortly after the accident happend and we took her to the emergency room. I had some hope because she looked "ok". Then I started thinking that there is no way that she could be "ok" because I saw the accident and I know that the car was going at lease 30mph. The doctor came in and gave us the sad prognosis....internal bleeding, a possible punctured lung and massive pain. We had to make a very tough decision....we decided to put Katie down and not make her go through all of the procedures that the DR was telling us she would need to do. She also told us that there was a very, very high chance that she would not make it and would be in alot of pain through it all.

We went in to say goodbye to Katie and I'm glad that we decided to do this...because faced with this type of agonizing decision, I would always wonder if we had made the right decision. After seeing her, I knew that we were doing the right thing. She had swelled up and her eyes were bugging out...she was clearly in a lot of pain. I was able to tell her goodbye and I'm thankful for that.


Since I was there with her, I feel terrible guilt. She was just an innocent dog and she trusted me to take care of her and I let her down. I cried myself to sleep last night. This is the first dog that I've ever had and I am truly suprised at how devistated that I am over the loss. I don't know if I will ever get over losing her.

[moonflower]

Missing Katie,

I know what you are going through and it is going to be rough for awhile. I asked Maxie to forgive me and after awhile he visited me and I felt better. You can't control everything and sometimes things just happen. Just lay down the guilt for awhile - it will be there if you want to hold it again. Guilt really gets in the way of the grieving the loss. Just keep breathing - this will take awhile. Write a letter to Katie and tell her how you feel. Light a candle, make a little shrine. Cry it all out. I am a month out and I have cried every single day. It is not as bad now but that first week or so was a killer.

Hold on and keep coming back here. We care.

Cheryl and Angel Maxie