How Do I Channel My Grief? Options

[debandfrankie]

Does anyone here have any hints on how to channel grief?

I'm finding it quite overwhelming, I'm a homemaker and I attend art classes 2 days a week. When I'm at home I tend to mope around crying, thinking about my dog and how much I miss him. On the days I go out to classes, I usually end up doing something else as well and before I know it, I'm exhausted.

I spent two days at home on the weekend and I probably should have gone out but I was busy with domestic chores.

It seems I'm not keeping much of a balance. Perhaps one excursion per day, and then a rest? I don't know. I just need some practical tips on getting through each day, without moping, and without getting overtired. I still wake up early thinking about Frankie. Maybe I should see a counsellor or something, has anyone else done this and was it helpful?

I'd love to hear how others cope with the details of everyday life, keeping busy but not too busy.

TIA
Deb

[tanbuck]

Hi Deb. I share your feelings of gloom and tiredness. It has been 2 1/2 weeks since Frasier died and while I have to go to work and I have to function outside my home, I still get this feeling when I'm out like it's time to go home. Most days when I get home from work I will cry a little. My husband says it's because I have to be "on" at work all day and bottle up my true feelings. Then when I get home they just have to come out. I had to go to a party this weekend and about half way through I was just tired and wanted to come home. When I got home, I went straight to bed even though it took me awhile to fall asleep.
I wish I had an answer for you so I could answer for myself as well. I think like we both know already, only time will help this. I know you miss Frankie so very much. I am so sorry you're having to feel this way. I miss my baby too. The cloud just follows me around and is present whether I'm laughing or crying.
-Donna

[TaffysSister]

Hi Deb, I am going through the same thing right now, I have a chronic illness so I am unable to work or attend school and sitting at home without Taffy is the worst feeling in the world. One thing that seemed to help me was a book called Rainbows and Bridges, it comes with a celebration of life journal where you can write down your favorite memories of Frankie and all of the special things that you remember about him. The book is a nice read as well and very comforting. I hope that helps you.

[debandfrankie]

Hi Taffyssister,

You are a sweetheart, thank you so much. I will have a look for that book, that's a great idea. I need some structured way of expressing myself. I've started a journal too as Ben suggested.

I really feel for you, in your loss of Taffy. I am lucky I can simply jump in the car and go out whenever I like. I do hope you can find ways of coping and caring for yourself in your illness as well. I kind of got into a bad habit with Frankie, he was so very frail and slept all the time, it was like looking after a newborn baby, so I did get stuck inside the house. Don't get me wrong I loved caring for him but I stayed home too much. I can be a recluse at the best of times.

Thanks again, I really appreciate your help and support.

Hugs to you and angel Taffy

Deb