My Best Friend Options

[Ginger4ever]

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. Many people will say that, after having a bad day at work/school, but it was true. It was horrible enough for the past weeks to have seen my hamster and best friend Ginger suffer, but yesterday it ended. Ginger hadn’t been doing well for a long time. She was bleeding, blind, deaf and, overall, old. However yesterday, she was paralyzed from waist down, and I knew she was in pain. I was the one who asked for my mom to take me to the vet’s to have her put down. Usually, a parent will say either “Sweetie, we think it’s best if you put him down,� or “Honey, do you want to put her down?� but no. Not with me. I was the one who asked my mom. And I’m just a kid, I’m only 11 years old. I don’t want to be the mature one. I wanted comforting, for my mom to tell me it’ll be okay, but in about two hours, we came home from the vet’s with a dead hamster to burry in the backyard. I know people here know what it’s like, but it just hurts so much. I miss Ginger. She was my best friend.

[Ginger4ever]

Two months and four days. Finally just when it seems the pain's dying away little by little, something comes up. Ginger's song, for example, as I called it before. I've been playing piano for almost six years and the first real song I learned to play on the paino was When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. I'd heard it so many times, and it made me smile knowing I could play it. I played it everywhere I could - school shows, music recitals and at least once everyday. My piano was something that made me happy. But since Ginger's died the only time I've played the piano is when my paretns forced me to practice, and even then I was doing it with tears even if I wasn't playing her song, the piano in general reminded me of her. The song's words related so much to how I felt for Ginger, but in the end things seemed to look up in the song. But I think to how it won't get better. I won't have her come back, not until I die. Whenever I hear that song I burst out crying, or am fighting with every force in my body not to. It's hard when I'm in a public place and it comes on and I can't tune it out, then I end up looking like an idiot for crying, which I don't care about anymore. The worst thing when I cry is having people say 'it's okay, I know how you feel' because no matter what, it won't be okay and no one knows how I feel. I know everyone here has been through similar stories, but not the same. I pray every night for Ginger, and talk to her whenever I can. But I always just want to scream out, cry, and fight against anyone's who's holding me down. But I can't because I'm supposed to be mature. Two months and four days have gone by, and I still cry every single day. But as I said before, just when I feel better, something happens. Ginger's song plays on the radio, I find a half chewn treat on my floor, I see the torn up carpet from where Ging ran away to for eight days behind my sister's bed, and I freak out again. My friends and family have tried to cheer me up with everything they can think of, literally. But I'm not cheering up because everything reminds me of her. I don't even want my parents to know I'm on this website because I don't want them to worry about me, though they have all rights to.

For Ginger, today I got up from my bedroom floor and went to my paino and pulled out my Avril Lavigne book for the first time all summer and played When You're Gone. I'm uploading the video, and I'm going to post it on here for Ginger, so i'll just edit this post and put it here. That song's for Ginger, my Little Houdini. Love you, my sweet angel.