It's Our Fault, Guilt Options

[Soverysad]

I am feeling so guilty over the death 2 days ago of our 11 year old black pug, Clancy. I'm not even certain I belong here because I feel like a terrible pet owner--just an awful person. It all started Tuesday when our house was just crazy with activity. We had a small house fire a few weeks back & the insurance adjuster was here. We also had someone here helping to clean up the remaining soot leftover from the fire. My husband was working from home--a demanding job that keeps him on call 24/7. My 4 kids were being their usual selves, wanting attention. My husband & I were on the phone ordering a new oven (casualty of the fire) and finalizing vacation plans. None of it should have removed our focus from caring for our dog, but stupidly it did. I had asked my husband to put Clancy in the yard, the yard she loved to run & play in, just until things calmed down a bit. When he went to bring her inside, she had collapsed. My heart sank & I immediately put her in our bathtub, trying to revive her. She seemed stable enough to make the trip to her vet. They worked on her to stabilize her further & sent us to a larger animal hospital. She was critical and we prayed so very hard that she would recover. How could we have let this happen? Why was our poor dog suffering for our stupidity?
The following morning, the vet told me that although she was still critical, she had not gotten worse, which was a promising sign. We no sooner hung up when the vet called my husband to say Clancy had stopped breathing & they were doing CPR. After 15 minutes, they were still unable to revive her.
I am so sick over this that I can barely get out of bed. How could we have hurt our sweet dog like this? Clancy, I am so, so sorry! I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I am the mommy. It's my job to care for everyone. She needed us & we let her down.
It's ok if I get hurtful responses---I deserve it. I would do anything to turn back the clock. I know I will never be the same. My heart is broken & it's my own fault.

[petmum]

Dear Soverysad you are such a normal human being, just living life as we all do & then WHAM!!!!!! As Lynnette says nothing anyone can say will be able to sink in right now, you are in shock & unable to process all that has happened. Don't let guilt over an accident rob you of the love in your heart (which feels like it's just been ripped in two) for your companion. The first few days are just awful!!!!! breathe out first then in, out again & then in.....you will get thru this....all of us here understand the loss of our companions....never an easy thing to go thru but so worth the love we have gotten from them, they love us unconditionally.......we cannot comprehend this.....even when we aren't grieving....be gentle to yourself....
{{{HUGS}}} to you.
elaine