New Pets?, When do you get a new pet? Options

[Harley Parley]

Hi folks,

Just got back from a very rough weekend. Hopefully my story helps you out somewhat or maybe is a warning to others. I'd appreciate any feedback you have or any insights you may have.

Today marks the one month date since I lost my beloved Harley Parley. I have never had a dog affect me so much in so many ways, especially since his very untimely death. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and remember all the fun times we had while he was still here.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago, my fiancee was looking online at the SPCA website and looking for another small dog. She happened to come upon another small dog at a shelter 800 kms (5oo miles) away. We talked it over and decided that because we are such good dog owners that we could take in another dog that deserved to have a good home. We went into this with the best intentions and wanted nothing but the best for any dog we take in. Well the shelter called us back and said they would love to have us take the dog home, but we would have to pick it up. We decided to drive down Friday, get the dog, drive back part ways home and then come the rest of the way on Sunday. The drive itself wouldn't be a problem usually, but it involves going through a major city (Vancouver, BC) and a ferry crossing (1 hour 45 minutes one way).

Well, we get to the shelter and meet the pooch after taking him for a walk. We noticed that he was itching a lot and seemed agitated. No problem though as we knew he had hypoallergenic issues with food and chalked it up to that. We signed the papers and got ready to go. I went to put a harness on him that we use for our dogs in the vehicle, and he snapped at me and actually bit me. I thought because he was annoyed at being sick that he was just scared. Anyway, he takes to the fiancee quite well, so she takes him and we get him in the car and get ready to go. As we sit there I notice that he has some scratches and raw skin from where he was scratching himself. We go back into the shelter and they send us to the vet at their expense. The vet sees it and says no problem. We just need this medication and he has to wear a buster collar to keep from scratching his ears. We head down the road over the ferry and 200 kms towards home. All is fine and everything goes good until 11PM that night when the buster collar comes loose. The fiancee asks me to help her put it back on. As I go to do it, he tries to bite me. I move my hands away and say "NO", then try again. He tries again and I decide he's in a red line aggressive situation. I back away and give him his space and as I do he runs at me, jumps up and clamps down on my inner thigh leaving me with a welt and a little broken skin. That was it. I managed to get a hold of the shelter manager who tells me that I need to bring him back. Not a problem, but it involved a 4Am wakeup time, a 10 hour backtrack, and a total 18 hour day of driving.

Anyway, the end of the day yesterday was tough when I got home. I was reminded again that my beloved Harley Parley was gone, I felt like a failure because I had to return a dog, and very spent. Compounding the problem was seeing all the many sites my dog and I experienced together. It made me cry and it made me very sad for the dog we returned. He was very sweet, but we were not a fit. I knew right from the start that he would not be like Harley and never had the illusion that he would. It was just very sad to experience the bite and return him.

I guess if I had any advice for any of you it would be this. First, if you have to travel a great distance to a shelter, insist they send you the dogs bio before you go. Ours said he had a dominant aggressive side to him. Had I known that, I wouldn't have even taken the next step. Secondly, if the dog has health issues, tell the shelter you will pay for any costs and then pick up the dog when he is ready to be picked up. Finally, ask yourself if you are ready for another dog. After this past weekend, I have to honestly say that I am not ready and I had a long discussion with my fiancee on the way home that I do not want another dog for at least a year.

I think the worst part for me is that this whole incident broke my heart again and I really didn't need that right now.

Take Care
Ben

Attached image(s)

 

[patricia]

im so sorry you had a rough weekend. if i could give you some advice is to release the guilt you have for returning the dog. its ok. you did what you needed to do. the dog needs to be rehabilitated before it gets adopted. you are not a failure, only someone who is severly brokenhearted and trying to fix the hurt from the first loss. you have a big heart and although you knew this new dog was not a good fit, you welcomed him to your home and that in itself is the beginning of a bond. to have to return him, well, of course your heart has broken again.
everyone grieves differently. in my case, lucy came to me (if you can believe a week after fred died) but as i put myself in your shoes, i dont think i could go looking for a pet so soon after. thats rough. like i said, lucy found me, through friends. and if youve read my story, it wasnt easy. but now shes the love of my life. its only been a month for you. thats really tough. you have to go easy on yourself. on the other hand, im so glad that you are beginning to open your heart to the posibilities of a new little one in your life. you must just take it one day at a time. perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow but maybe in a few months or even like you said in a year. one day at a time. and if may suggest, there are so many wonderful dogs that are local that need a great home. perhaps finding one that is closer to you is best. that way should anything happen, you can avoid the hassles of it all over again. i know how when one thing goes wrong, everything else follows. also as hard as it may seem perhaps take a walk thru the shelter. you can feel and see some of their energy this way. i know that as lucy came to me (sight unsee mind you) i had no idea what i was getting into. and although i firmly believe that once you commit to a dog you commit, i can understand why people didnt want her. she was, well, is a handful. and i will admit that the first day i wanted to send her back myself. (she was not aggressive just a holy terror and my fred that had passed was a cat who never caused any trouble) i have since adjusted but very soon i will be looking for a little companion for lucy and will do my homework first. thank you for the advice. i will certainly pay more attention.
lucy and i send you a big hug. we are so sorry you are hurting. please look forward to the day that you will be able to speak of harley parley with a smile on your face instead of tears and also the day when you have a new furry one in your home. you have a giant heart and are a wonderful dad and i think that any new doggie that comes into your life will be so lucky!
you are in my prayers.
patricia