It's Our Fault, Guilt Options

[Soverysad]

I am feeling so guilty over the death 2 days ago of our 11 year old black pug, Clancy. I'm not even certain I belong here because I feel like a terrible pet owner--just an awful person. It all started Tuesday when our house was just crazy with activity. We had a small house fire a few weeks back & the insurance adjuster was here. We also had someone here helping to clean up the remaining soot leftover from the fire. My husband was working from home--a demanding job that keeps him on call 24/7. My 4 kids were being their usual selves, wanting attention. My husband & I were on the phone ordering a new oven (casualty of the fire) and finalizing vacation plans. None of it should have removed our focus from caring for our dog, but stupidly it did. I had asked my husband to put Clancy in the yard, the yard she loved to run & play in, just until things calmed down a bit. When he went to bring her inside, she had collapsed. My heart sank & I immediately put her in our bathtub, trying to revive her. She seemed stable enough to make the trip to her vet. They worked on her to stabilize her further & sent us to a larger animal hospital. She was critical and we prayed so very hard that she would recover. How could we have let this happen? Why was our poor dog suffering for our stupidity?
The following morning, the vet told me that although she was still critical, she had not gotten worse, which was a promising sign. We no sooner hung up when the vet called my husband to say Clancy had stopped breathing & they were doing CPR. After 15 minutes, they were still unable to revive her.
I am so sick over this that I can barely get out of bed. How could we have hurt our sweet dog like this? Clancy, I am so, so sorry! I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I am the mommy. It's my job to care for everyone. She needed us & we let her down.
It's ok if I get hurtful responses---I deserve it. I would do anything to turn back the clock. I know I will never be the same. My heart is broken & it's my own fault.

[tokolos]

I'm so sorry to hear about Clancy, but how was this your fault. What happened outside?

[Soverysad]

I'm so sorry to hear about Clancy, but how was this your fault. What happened outside?

I'm sorry. I should have added that. She was overcome by the heat. Owning shortnosed breeds, we were aware of their susceptibility to heat. What we did not know was they can be hurt in as little as 10 minutes & it does not have to be extremely warm for it to happen. Our sweet dog paid for our ignorance & my heart just aches for her. We should have been more attentive. We should have known better.

[patricia]

I'm sorry. I should have added that. She was overcome by the heat. Owning shortnosed breeds, we were aware of their susceptibility to heat. What we did not know was they can be hurt in as little as 10 minutes & it does not have to be extremely warm for it to happen. Our sweet dog paid for our ignorance & my heart just aches for her. We should have been more attentive. We should have known better.

please be kind to yourself. this was not your fault. if only they could speak and tell us something is wrong, but they cant. accidents happen all the time. just the other day i drove my mother and my little lucy about an hour away to my mothers appt. in my mind, we were close to the beach therefore cooler and plus the appt was in the morning hours before it got really hot. i was sure lucy would be ok in the car. we got there ok and i left her, checked on her a little later and it was still nice and cool. i had parked u'neat the shade and the windows rolled down a bit. the breeze was lovely and i didnt have any worries. but the appt dragged on a bit longer than anticipated and rather than check on her, i just waited it out. finally when my mother was getting ready to leave i checked on lucy again. only this time it was much hotter outside and as i ran to the car, my little one was in the back, panting rather heavily and looking rather drowsy. needless to say i opened the doors, took her out immediately and poured water all over her. as i checked inside the car, i wanted to kill myself for not thinking. The car was so hot. i was lucky that i got a second chance but like you i beat myself up for the rest of the day until i realized that it was serving no purpose. we are human and i know that im a good mom as i would never do anything on purpose to hurt my lucy, just like you were a wonderful mom to little clancy and would never go out of your way to hurt her. this was an unfortunate accident. i know youre hurting and nothing i can say will make you feel better right now but time heals and you will get to a place where you will be able to remember clancy with a smile.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia

ps: and lynette if your reading this, lily is not mad at you. these wonderful companions are incapable of feeling this emotion. they only feel love for us. please believe that. you did everything you could to save her and that is priceless. stop beating yourself up for that. (i know easier said than done) lily loved you with all her heart as you did her. hold on to that and begin to let all the anger towards yourself go. lily and hunny cannot possibly ever forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. they loved you till their last breathe. really. a big giant hug from lucy and me to both of you and a tongue-up-the nose kiss that only lucy can give. you are both wonderful loving people.