It Was Just Their Time, Right?, soul searching Options

[I miss mouses]

I keep thinking about it being their time or not. I keep thinking about all of us going through the guilt, and the "what if's." I suffer from this greatly, although I have come along way since January. Something clicked yesterday, and it made me feel like it was really just her time. Maybe it really was just their time. I keep wondering could we really go to heaven and find out we could of had a different ending? What kind of heaven would that be if I get there and ask, "what would of happened if I had left Mouses at the emergency vets to stabilize instead of taking her home to die?" Could the answer I'm dying to hear really be a negative one...such as, "Oh, I'm sorry you should have left her there she would have recovered?" "Oh, I'm sorry if you would have brought her in when she fell Monday, she would have made it." I just can't believe that is true...for any of us.

I started to think of peace. How could God bring us all peace. I can't imagine a God would add to our pain and misery. God could ease all of our pain with one simple sentence, "It was just their time." Can you imagine the peace that would bring? It is easy to comfort ourselves with that thought, but could you imagine if it was really true? God could also just say, "EVERYTHING (including how we spent time with them) went the way it was supposed to go." Such simple sentences that could erase all of our guilt, and all of our wondering. All of our questions would be hushed.

This thought has been helping me heal. I really can't imagine the horror of finding out we could have changed things. I am trying really hard to just believe it is just their time. We all share a common thread. God could really ease all of our pain so easily. No more wondering, "if only." If only I didn't feed him/her that...if only I took him/her in sooner...if only we hadn't went on vacation...if only we hadn't gone on that walk....if only I gave him/her their medicine better...if only I played with him/her more...if only I didn't let him/her out that morning...if only I brought him/her to the vet more often (we could have caught this sooner). All of that would be gone. God simply says, "IT WAS JUST THEIR TIME...EVERYTHING WENT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO." A simple way to ease the pain of millions (for all losses/tragedies).

I see a lot of us second guess our actions. Maybe we don't have as much control as we think. For me part of it did feel like I was on autopilot. The inside part of me was struggling to bring Mouses back to the ER. The outside part of me just kept going with the flow...every pain staking minute. Sometimes I really do feel like it was out of our hands. It was just happening, and we sadly just had to sit back and watch it happen.

I will try to believe it was just her time...it is a very peaceful feeling. Then your just left with love, memories, and missing them until we see them again. I would take that over the hell I am putting myself through anyday. Some of us torture ourselves way too much. We were/are good pet owners. We love our babies with all of our hearts. We would have done anything to have saved them, but it was out of our hands. They couldn't live forever...we always knew this. We always knew we would spend a way bigger chunk of our lives without them than with them. To heal we have to accept it was just their time, whether we like it or not.

[Harley Parley]

Hello all,

I know what you mean. I have been looking out my back window at the yard where my beloved Harley would play and run and at the spot near the back fence where he laid by himself the last morning he was with us. ON that morning, he wouldn't come to me, so I had to pick him up and pack him back into the house which was unusual because he never did take to being picked up at all. That morning, he just accepted it and looked me in the eyes and looked thankful. I was telling my dad about it and he remarked thatHarley probably knew his time was short and that dogs will not die in front of you because they don't want to be a burden to the pack. It really is part of their unselfish nature. Still, I have gone over the "what if's?" a thousand times in this last month. Sometimes I feel guilt and sometimes I feel shame and sometimes I feel what if? It's only natural for us to think that way because we feel that as the leader of the pack, we should know what to do all the time ad when our pets are gone, we take the blame on ourselves. However, we should remember one solid fact.

The fact is we absolutely loved our pets and did the best we could for them with all the knowledge and love we had. We took them into our homes and offered them food, exercise, care, medical attention, and all the love we could muster. We did all of this in the name of love with nothing less than our best. I honestly believe our pets knew this as they took their last breath and they headed for the Rainbow bridge. I think if they could talk they would tell us that they were going living such a full life with us that they had simply no regrets at all and that their time down here was done. And of course, they would tell us that they love us and that they would want us to be happy as they were that they came from a loving home with such loving owners.

Peace & Love
Ben