It Was Just Their Time, Right?, soul searching Options

[I miss mouses]

I keep thinking about it being their time or not. I keep thinking about all of us going through the guilt, and the "what if's." I suffer from this greatly, although I have come along way since January. Something clicked yesterday, and it made me feel like it was really just her time. Maybe it really was just their time. I keep wondering could we really go to heaven and find out we could of had a different ending? What kind of heaven would that be if I get there and ask, "what would of happened if I had left Mouses at the emergency vets to stabilize instead of taking her home to die?" Could the answer I'm dying to hear really be a negative one...such as, "Oh, I'm sorry you should have left her there she would have recovered?" "Oh, I'm sorry if you would have brought her in when she fell Monday, she would have made it." I just can't believe that is true...for any of us.

I started to think of peace. How could God bring us all peace. I can't imagine a God would add to our pain and misery. God could ease all of our pain with one simple sentence, "It was just their time." Can you imagine the peace that would bring? It is easy to comfort ourselves with that thought, but could you imagine if it was really true? God could also just say, "EVERYTHING (including how we spent time with them) went the way it was supposed to go." Such simple sentences that could erase all of our guilt, and all of our wondering. All of our questions would be hushed.

This thought has been helping me heal. I really can't imagine the horror of finding out we could have changed things. I am trying really hard to just believe it is just their time. We all share a common thread. God could really ease all of our pain so easily. No more wondering, "if only." If only I didn't feed him/her that...if only I took him/her in sooner...if only we hadn't went on vacation...if only we hadn't gone on that walk....if only I gave him/her their medicine better...if only I played with him/her more...if only I didn't let him/her out that morning...if only I brought him/her to the vet more often (we could have caught this sooner). All of that would be gone. God simply says, "IT WAS JUST THEIR TIME...EVERYTHING WENT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO." A simple way to ease the pain of millions (for all losses/tragedies).

I see a lot of us second guess our actions. Maybe we don't have as much control as we think. For me part of it did feel like I was on autopilot. The inside part of me was struggling to bring Mouses back to the ER. The outside part of me just kept going with the flow...every pain staking minute. Sometimes I really do feel like it was out of our hands. It was just happening, and we sadly just had to sit back and watch it happen.

I will try to believe it was just her time...it is a very peaceful feeling. Then your just left with love, memories, and missing them until we see them again. I would take that over the hell I am putting myself through anyday. Some of us torture ourselves way too much. We were/are good pet owners. We love our babies with all of our hearts. We would have done anything to have saved them, but it was out of our hands. They couldn't live forever...we always knew this. We always knew we would spend a way bigger chunk of our lives without them than with them. To heal we have to accept it was just their time, whether we like it or not.

[patricia]

we all have our time. all living things must go. and you are so right. this too is the conclusion i have reached in my journey to recovery. if we can believe that for whatever reason they were sent to us then we must accept that they will leave us someday. we cannot question our maker but that is why i believe that when they leave us it is God's will; it was their time. and He is rejoicing as he welcomes them back. i believe that pain and suffering came as a result of sin. God did not intend for us to suffer. but with sin came death.
im glad to hear that you are finding peace. as i finished reading ceasar millans first book, towards the end he mentions how our pets teach us so much about life and about death. at first i was dumbfounded. What? what do they teach us. they leave us in so much pain, so much hurt that sometime we dont even know how to get out of that black hole. but look at the wonderful lesson you are learning and sharing with us. perhaps through the passing of our beloved pets we are meant to individually learn these lessons. i mean if we believe in a god that loves, we have to believe that he is a god of mercy and a god that doesnt want us to suffer and be in pain. unfortunately, all of our lives must end one day and we suffer and we hurt. but there comes a day (sad for the ones that are left behind) but that our pain is gone and that is what happens to all life. and when they leave us they return to our maker that welcomes all life back and he is happy.

i dont know. this is just where i have found my peace. and i believe this was the lesson that i was supposed to learn thru the passing of my loved ones. and suddenly im not afraid of death anymore because i know i will be reunited with all my four legged family members and all physical and emotional pain will be lifted and there will be joy. and while im here on this earth, i will love my new four legged companions and i will take care of them and maybe our god put us here on this earth to take care of those that need us the most. sorry for my rambling but thank you for your words and for reminding me of these things that my little ones taught me.
patricia