How Can It Hurt This Much?, Lost my Baby Duke Options

[dukesmom]

Hello All:

I happened upon this site today looking for any and everything to ease my grief. I lost my baby Duke this past weekend. He was hit by a car right in front of our house. He was only 9 months old and he was my everything. Although we initial got him for my two daughters he quickly became my dog. I was his mother and loved him as just like my children.

We bought Duke home when he was eight weeks old. We had been told by everyone to train him in the crate and make sure that he sleeps in the crate at night. He quickly let us know that was not going to work. He cried and cried until my husband and I put him in bed with us. He slept with us everynight from that point forward and was not happy unless he was right up under me with his head in my lap. I woke up every morning to his kisses. We played and I brushed him down, took him for walk and fed him. He would lay back in my bed and fall a sleep while I got dressed for work. In the evenings he would jump up in the living room window as soon as he heard my car. He would greet me with love as soon as I walked in the door and was my shawdow. He went everywhere with me and everyone would comment on how spoiled he was. I loved him with my whole heart and he loved me back without conditions. My husband and daughters loved Duke very much also and are dealing with their own grief, but they all seem to be better off then me.

I am having such a difficult time dealing with my grief and guilt. I feel like I didn't protect him and that it is somehow our fault that he is not here anymore. He was just a baby and I imagined many more years of happiness and growing with him. I am so sadden by his sudden death. My husband buried him in the back yard and I keep looking out the window in sorrow.

Everyone is telling us to get another dog because it helps. My husband and kids are on board but I am not readly. I loved Duke so completely, I don't know if I can do it again.

Any help anyone can provide is appreciated. I am truly stuggling with this.

[patricia]

wether you lived on a busy street or a quiet street, it can happen to any one of us. last nite i went home and i gave lucy and extra big hug that she tried to squirm out of. yes you will miss duke. i miss my little ones every day. not one day goes by that i dont think of them. they took with them a piece of my heart just like your little duke took a piece of yours. just remember to take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. let yourself grieve. i can promise you that time will heal your wounded heart and there will come a day when you will be able to speak about him without the tears and instead with a big smile for all the funny, wonderful things he did. hold on to those happy memories. write them down in a book, perhaps somewhere where you can open it and "feel" the memories when you need to.

duke is still with you and he is your angel now.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia