How Can It Hurt This Much?, Lost my Baby Duke Options

[dukesmom]

Hello All:

I happened upon this site today looking for any and everything to ease my grief. I lost my baby Duke this past weekend. He was hit by a car right in front of our house. He was only 9 months old and he was my everything. Although we initial got him for my two daughters he quickly became my dog. I was his mother and loved him as just like my children.

We bought Duke home when he was eight weeks old. We had been told by everyone to train him in the crate and make sure that he sleeps in the crate at night. He quickly let us know that was not going to work. He cried and cried until my husband and I put him in bed with us. He slept with us everynight from that point forward and was not happy unless he was right up under me with his head in my lap. I woke up every morning to his kisses. We played and I brushed him down, took him for walk and fed him. He would lay back in my bed and fall a sleep while I got dressed for work. In the evenings he would jump up in the living room window as soon as he heard my car. He would greet me with love as soon as I walked in the door and was my shawdow. He went everywhere with me and everyone would comment on how spoiled he was. I loved him with my whole heart and he loved me back without conditions. My husband and daughters loved Duke very much also and are dealing with their own grief, but they all seem to be better off then me.

I am having such a difficult time dealing with my grief and guilt. I feel like I didn't protect him and that it is somehow our fault that he is not here anymore. He was just a baby and I imagined many more years of happiness and growing with him. I am so sadden by his sudden death. My husband buried him in the back yard and I keep looking out the window in sorrow.

Everyone is telling us to get another dog because it helps. My husband and kids are on board but I am not readly. I loved Duke so completely, I don't know if I can do it again.

Any help anyone can provide is appreciated. I am truly stuggling with this.

[jasonsmom]

Don't beat yourself up - things can happen in an instant with pets, kids etc. I saw a dog get hit by a truck on Friday, that ruined my day I can tell you. Animals are not traffic smart, domestic or wild, and they just need that split second to get on the road. It's not your fault, you shouldn't feel guilty - of course you would have done anything to prevent it from happening and of course you did - but sometimes things don't go as expected. This happens all the time unfortunately.

As for getting a new dog, you will know when it is the right one, whether it is in a few days or even months, you will know if the animal is the right fit for you. You will not have serious doubts, although you may subconsciously compare it to your previous pet. Just think - you may be giving a loving home to a pet that needs one.

I feel for your loss, having had one myself very recently, but please don't blame yourself. Remember Duke as he was and keep pictures of him, but if you can eventually open your home to another pet, it certainly won't take his place.

[dukesmom]

Thank you for your encouraging words. It is helpful to hear that I am not alone. I know I should not feel guilty, but I also know that guilt is part of the grief process. I miss Duke so much. I am going through the motions of my day but waves of sorrow wash over me out of nowhere. I know time heals all wounds I just wish I could get there faster.

Don't beat yourself up - things can happen in an instant with pets, kids etc. I saw a dog get hit by a truck on Friday, that ruined my day I can tell you. Animals are not traffic smart, domestic or wild, and they just need that split second to get on the road. It's not your fault, you shouldn't feel guilty - of course you would have done anything to prevent it from happening and of course you did - but sometimes things don't go as expected. This happens all the time unfortunately.

As for getting a new dog, you will know when it is the right one, whether it is in a few days or even months, you will know if the animal is the right fit for you. You will not have serious doubts, although you may subconsciously compare it to your previous pet. Just think - you may be giving a loving home to a pet that needs one.

I feel for your loss, having had one myself very recently, but please don't blame yourself. Remember Duke as he was and keep pictures of him, but if you can eventually open your home to another pet, it certainly won't take his place.