My Best Friend Options

[Ginger4ever]

Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. Many people will say that, after having a bad day at work/school, but it was true. It was horrible enough for the past weeks to have seen my hamster and best friend Ginger suffer, but yesterday it ended. Ginger hadn’t been doing well for a long time. She was bleeding, blind, deaf and, overall, old. However yesterday, she was paralyzed from waist down, and I knew she was in pain. I was the one who asked for my mom to take me to the vet’s to have her put down. Usually, a parent will say either “Sweetie, we think it’s best if you put him down,� or “Honey, do you want to put her down?� but no. Not with me. I was the one who asked my mom. And I’m just a kid, I’m only 11 years old. I don’t want to be the mature one. I wanted comforting, for my mom to tell me it’ll be okay, but in about two hours, we came home from the vet’s with a dead hamster to burry in the backyard. I know people here know what it’s like, but it just hurts so much. I miss Ginger. She was my best friend.

[JanEeee]

Wow, that was a sad story. So very difficult when the years of fun and playing and laughing turn into a time of caring for an ailing and aging friend. So hard to greet them everyday knowing they are not well and in discomfort. So hard to see them in pain. I know I felt helpless when my kitty, Mr X, was sick. I'm the pet care-person, I'm supposed to take care of everything and make everything better. And then, sometimes you can't.

Yeah, maturity and loss, those two things do not match up too well. Nor does logic and grieving, and we live in an oh-so-logical world. We have very limiting ideas about putting our feelings in a little box on the shelf somewhere so that no one else will see us as we feel that heart-stabbing pain of the loss of our dear sweet friend.

I'm quite a bit older than you are; when I was your age I also had to be the "mature one" or the "parent" in my family. Sometimes the world seems upside-down and those we should be able to count on just aren't really there for us. I am so glad that you found this group. There is lots of support here and you, in your turn, will also find that you will want to reach out to others yourself.

Please keep writing, tell us how you are doing and we will be here, to listen, to share our own stories, and to be your companion through this very unhappy time.

J