For Those Contemplating Another Pet . . . Options

[Jess]

It's been just over 9 weeks since my Sydney passed and a few days ago we adopted an 8-week old Siamese kitten. She is just a doll - a total lap cat and cuddler, which is what Sydney was. I just wanted to share my experience since I know others on here have been torn about the decision about whether/when to get another pet after a loss. It was really my husband who initiated the whole thing. When Sydney first passed, I couldn't imagine ever having another pet fill her place in our lives, but my husband really, really wanted another cat, since we were so used to having two.

I didn't think I could ever love another pet the way I love Sydney, and I firmly believe that she and I share a special bond that will never be fully replicated, but it took me about a day to start loving our new little one, Saylor. It's nice to have a new little ray of sunshine running around the house, and I look forward to coming home again each day to see her, which was one of the hardest parts about losing Sydney. She was always there to greet me at the door and spent all night on our laps, so I was constantly aware of her absence when I was home.

All of that being said, having a new kitten has not diminished my love for Sydney, nor my grief over losing her, one bit. My love for Saylor occupies a completely different place in my heart, and my heart still aches for Sydney. Last night as we were laying down to sleep, Saylor curled up on my husband's chest, which is where Sydney slept every night, and I lost it. I started crying hysterically, which I hadn't done in several days. Saylor is wonderful, but I still miss Sydney with every fiber of my being.

So for those of you who feel that getting another pet would be like replacing the one you lost, please know that this is simply not possible. Every pet is irreplaceable and carves out their own little place in our hearts. I do, however, recommend waiting until the grief is no longer constantly unbearable. I say constantly because for me, it still feels unbearable at times, but not every second of the day. I knew I wouldn't have been able to open my heart right away, and I'm glad we waited a couple of months.

Peace to you all.

[petmum]

good timing with your story Jess,
I miss my Buddy, someone else had a gr8 post about, missing the presence of a comapnion, not their particular pet who had died but the strange feeling of something was missing from their life, they acknowledged they weren't after their original fur companion but realised how empty life was with out a fur companion....i don't know if that makes sense? It's only been 23 days since my Buddy died and I cant believe I'm even capable of thinking bout another pet, but I was looking & short story is I visited a beautiful boy @ an animal shelter & all I cld think when I met him was, how wonderful it wld be to hve another dog, when my eyes fell upon him I felt something heavy just slip away from me. I'm taking the kids & husband to meet him on Sunday....I'm trying to be sensible bout this whole issue.....I now my Buddy wont come back to me in this life, but I just felt that having another dog was ok. I shocked my husband by all this who became very angry when I mentioned what I had done, so I hve really been wondering if this is the right thing to be doing so early into the loss of my Buddy....but something tells me it's ok to hve another dog & the gorgeous boy I met seemed to fit the bill....I do feel perhaps it's too early but part of me say's now is the right time with this dog I met during the week. He is 3.5yrs old & I just had this feeling that he wld fit right in with our family & I am more than willing to train him......anyways thank you for your post & I'm impressed you were able to wait longer than me....
elaine

[Sammie girl'...]

Elaine,

I am so excited for you. It sounds liket this boy might be the one. Don't worry about the husband, maybe his grief and expectations are different than yours. I am just so proud of you I could jump up and down and scream "yeh Elaine". Except I'm riding in a car right now so that would not be a good idea. We are on our way to pick up my two new babies. We'll be there in about 1 1/2 hours and I can't wait. I'm nervous though and I have a hundred things going through my head. I've questioned this decision, wondered if I'll be able to bond with them and love them through my grief. Then I wondered whether they would love me as much as Sammie did. And I've never trained or had two at at time so that's a little worrisome. BUT, bottom line is....I miss having a dog in my life. The void Sammie left is so lonesome. I hate coming home to this day because it hurts that Sammie is not there. I think that's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is being excited to come home and having someone be excited to see me. I'll let you know next week how the weekend goes. I can't wait to hear what your husband and kids think? Let me know.
Love ya,
Melanie