My Darling Passed A Month Ago... Options

[Scarlett]

Callym passed on May 23, 2009. It is now officially June 23, meaning it has been a month since I have seen that face walking around my home. A month later, and I miss Callym more than ever. Sometimes I think I have not really accepted his passing. I mean, I know he is not coming back - I am under no delusions. But I think as an act of self-protection, I am not really allowing myself to fully process that this is permanent. I know it is, but I don't want to think about that aspect of things as I think I will never stop crying.

The nursing Callym when he was sick with his oral/cheek cancer was the most emotional intense few months of my life - it was full of so much love, concern, devotion, bonding. And then after getting closer than ever (if such a thing was even possible) because of the nursing, Callym now is no longer here.

I do have photos of him in quite a few places in the house. While it sets off tears seeing the photos, I'd sooner that than try to forget the hurt. So tears it will be.

I don't know what to think any more. One thing, I don't think I'll ever be quite the same carefree person I once was. Yes, I am a better person for having had him in my life, but with his passing a part of my heart feels permanently broken.

Callym, I love you. I always will.

[petmum]

wow scarlett u summed up my sentiments exactly, I will never be the same either,