Shock Is Now Turning Into Realization Options

[Scarlett]

Grief is a strange thing. I thought I was working through my grief - although I was not sure I would ever really heal. Now I realize the past 3 1/2 weeks was really all just a stage of shock. Losing my Callym was just raw and hurt.

Now I find myself weeping in bed at night, and waking up feeling really lonely. The permanence of his loss is starting to really hit home. I think my grief is entering a new phase. I am realizing that this is not just about shock and disbelief, that this is not a trial separation for a few weeks or months - Callym has passed on. It's hurting and is painful all over again. I am functioning okay in day to day life, but the hurt is so deeply embedded as I really learn to accept my darling has passed on. I don't want to accept this.

[nicole'smom]

I know how you feel, Scarlett. You said it so well. I experienced the same deeper realization that Nicole was gone after the initial shock had subsided somewhat. I thought I was coming to an acceptance of her death and I guess on one level I was. But in one moment I'll always remember it hit me with such a force that she was really gone. It was as though I'd just woke up to face the cold hard reality that she had actually died. My Nicole was dead. I was never going to see her again.
It's been a little over 6 months since my darling Nicole died and I've come to accept that she's gone. I have no choice. My heart goes out to you now and your beautiful Callym.