New Here, Grieving for my beloved cat Options

[Jess]

Hi everyone. I just joined the forum. I'm here because I had to have my beloved cat Sydney put to sleep two weeks ago today. Even as I type that, I can't believe it's true. She was the love of my life and I don't know how I'm going to live without her. I don't know how I've even lived this long without her. I don't feel like any time has passed since she died, like it was yesterday. I feel like I've just been moving through life in a fog. I've never had such a close bond with a pet. We got her when she was only four or five weeks old and she was the sweetest, most wonderful cat. She was with us all the time - curling up on our laps while we watched TV, sitting nearby when we worked on the computer, sleeping in bed with us at night. Her favorite place to sleep was on my husband's chest, and she was always in the bedroom with us when we woke up in the morning.

Now when I wake up every morning and she isn't there, I feel sick. I don't know how I'm going to keep doing this day after day. We have another cat, but she isn't as friendly as Sydney was, and although I love her very much, I'm not nearly as close to her. Sydney got sick very suddenly - our vet thinks she ate something poisonous, but we cannot figure out what it could have been - and after spending a week in the hospital on IV fluids, we took her home for a night, hoping we could nurse her back to health, but we couldn't. Her kidneys were already too far gone, so we made the decision to end her suffering. We were there when she passed, and in a way, it was a relief to know she wasn't suffering anymore. She was very sick her last night with us and just kept trying to drink water, but she had ulcers in her mouth and down her throat, and it was too painful for her.

She was only 7 years old and I am so angry that she was taken from us so early in life. I know I should be grateful for the time we did have, but I just miss her so much, it is eating me up inside. I made an appointment to talk to a therapist about it tomorrow because I'm having trouble dealing with the grief. I can't think about anything else and the longing I feel for her is unbearable. I'm hoping to find some comfort on this forum.

[Jess]

Well, it's been 6 weeks today. I can't believe I have lived this long without her. The idea of continuing to get up every morning and face each day without her is still agonizing and exhausting. I miss you, Sydney. I love you, baby girl.