Arthur Nov 2005 To June 8 2008, 1yr ago, I died with you Options

[ann]

ARTHUR

the moment that you died, my heart split in two
one side filled with memories, the other died with you.
I often lay awake at night, when the world is fast asleep
and take a walk down memory lane, with tears upon my cheeks.
remembering you is easy, I do it everyday
but missing you is a heartache, that will never go away.
I hold you tightly within my heart, and there you will remain
life goes on without you, but it will never be the same.


I'll never forget the joy you brought into my life, Poops.
I'll love and miss you forever....Mom xoxoxox

[ann]

Thank you all so much for being here when I needed an understanding heart. The poem Judy, was not my own, but it doesn't matter, it's still from the heart. And that photo, I love too. Ironically it was taken 1 year to the day he got hurt Jun 7, 2007.... I kissed and held his bundle of ashes today (as I do everyday), I placed a flower at his grave even though I have put some fake ones there, I wore the pendent with some of his ashes, as I do from time to time. I thought of him ALOT! (like always). The only thing I didn't do today was mention this day to anyone (except here) not even Dave.
Funny, he is the one person I feel the most uncomfortable talking about Arthur to. He doesn't want to hear it and the guilt of me instisting he have a life outdoors makes me feel like this is all my fault. He loved Arthur as much as I do, and I took away his little buddy. I played with Arthur's life, I took a chance and we all lost. That is the hardest feeling of all to get over.

But all in all I was ok with the day. I find that yesterday (jun 7) was more difficult. That was the day he came home hurt. The whole hospital bit, me being sick on top of it, not having the mind set to comprehend, except all that was going on that day. I felt the world spinning out of control and his fate was in the hands of strangers. You try to grab on to something and it's just not there. Very hard to describe. But I think some of us here know what I mean.

I no longer will be saying "a year ago today I was with you" anymore. In some ways it is a relief and a release. Other than that feeling, not much else will change. Arthur as well as my Whiskers and Daisy will never be far from my thoughts, their photos will never be far from my sight.

Thank you again for keeping us in your thoughts today...Hugs to all..Ann